Six
Warmth coated the insides of my throat as death resonated in my chest
Swallowed answers
Took deep breaths and waited
Silent
Anticipated immediate satisfaction as the insides of stomachs contracted
Cried tears as wombs convulsed and shook sense into me
This was not how the end was supposed to be but I chose it
Sweating
Waiting against the sides of tubs as eyes cloud over with regret
Fingers numb like tongues that wish to beg for help
I felt myself
Slipping
Between reality and sleeping
Cradled arms around nothing
Held on to the emptiness of your promise
That I would not be like the other girls
Pregnant
A statistic on paper
The one who allowed society to rape her
Impregnate her with this illegitimate excuse of his deceit
This was not how tomorrow was supposed to be
So I wait for today to end
Cold
Sheets of tiles remind me of the way he entered me without consent
Suppressed my limbs and forced kisses upon my skin
He took my innocence
Dared me to cry when I wanted to scream
Fingers wrapped around my neck as his body laid in between my hell and
Free
Hands
Shaking
Tears leaking as kicks suspend and cease to exist
Red anger drips sweat against me
Teeth clenched
Waiting for the end to get me
Six times he entered me
Without permission
Six times I asked for help but nobody would listen
Six pills will give me the hope prayers no longer mention
Swallowed
The answers nobody seem to have
This man is the epitome of justice
The yes when I was screaming no
The one who was let go because I didn’t take the time to get to know
Him
But why is he the victim when his crime lives within
Me
Barely…..breathing
Heartbeats…leaving
Bright lights receding as crimson pools aren’t a part of me
Dreaming
This isn’t how it was supposed to be
This wasn’t how it was supposed
To end
...My Apology...
Maybe this is regret
Remorse filled sorrow of the actions that took place and the words later shared
Maybe this is the breaking of hearts once realized you don’t care
Or the truth that always resided there
Inconsiderate of the love that is given until none remains
Or you treating me like the women who have already came
And gone
I want to imagine that you know how it feels to feel
Understand the struggle between self and what’s real
That not all people are able to deal with giving themselves to someone whole heartedly
Now every part of me wishes the past never was
Wishes that we hadn’t grown so close and apart in a matter of hours
Wishes I had more power over my senses
Wishing that I never mentioned the confessions on my heart
I’m not asking you to love me
I’m just asking you to give a fuck about my feelings
And as anger rises to the top of emotions I’d rather not deal with
I find myself suspended in between tears and despise
You aren’t the man I fell for
And maybe I should have allowed more time
Or opened my eyes and saw the realness that is you
But sometimes even lies hide behind the perception people give you
So this is me saying sorry to you
I’m sorry for falling
Sorry for giving you parts of me I’ve only shared with self
Sorry for waking up to think of you and no one else
Sorry for being available to you within a moments breath
Sorry for not walking away from you
Because now I know it would have been best
Remorse filled sorrow of the actions that took place and the words later shared
Maybe this is the breaking of hearts once realized you don’t care
Or the truth that always resided there
Inconsiderate of the love that is given until none remains
Or you treating me like the women who have already came
And gone
I want to imagine that you know how it feels to feel
Understand the struggle between self and what’s real
That not all people are able to deal with giving themselves to someone whole heartedly
Now every part of me wishes the past never was
Wishes that we hadn’t grown so close and apart in a matter of hours
Wishes I had more power over my senses
Wishing that I never mentioned the confessions on my heart
I’m not asking you to love me
I’m just asking you to give a fuck about my feelings
And as anger rises to the top of emotions I’d rather not deal with
I find myself suspended in between tears and despise
You aren’t the man I fell for
And maybe I should have allowed more time
Or opened my eyes and saw the realness that is you
But sometimes even lies hide behind the perception people give you
So this is me saying sorry to you
I’m sorry for falling
Sorry for giving you parts of me I’ve only shared with self
Sorry for waking up to think of you and no one else
Sorry for being available to you within a moments breath
Sorry for not walking away from you
Because now I know it would have been best
...Everything...
Looking at the bigger picture
Reviewing the smile behind its purpose
Laugh hues as we think of past memories repainted anew
Yet I forget the details
Over look your heart with selfishness newly defined
Erase the lines between space and time and no longer recognize the scars against the canvas
I refuse to see the pain
Relax the truth into the darkest corners of my mind and enjoy the delusion of infatuation
My consideration for you is none
The words you speak mean nothing
And the love you give will never be enough
So I paint with your tears and sketch with your thoughts
Remove the You that was never in Me and realize that this is me hurting you because I hurt
I want to feel something deeper than love for you
Something better than overstanding as you attempt to innerstand me
And I’ve become too demanding of you over self
Sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all
Walk away detached from my weaknesses
As hearts beat out of sequence and I find myself standing alone
Again
This time is the next time all over again
As beautiful as the first tear begin
We burned holes through words and said all we shouldn’t say
This isn’t love
This is two people fighting to be anything but alone
My misery is your company
And your pain is my shadow
This wasn’t but we made it be
Pressing against the delicate fabrics of time
We spend moments convincing each other of a love we no longer believe in
You deserve better than me
Better than the confusion between 4 walls of Hell
Fighting a battle we lost so long ago
Pretending selfishly that we still have chemistry
I’ve become your worst enemy
The reason for your prayers as you grab at the unseen
Crying softly as you refuse to leave
I’ve become everything you never wanted me to be
Reviewing the smile behind its purpose
Laugh hues as we think of past memories repainted anew
Yet I forget the details
Over look your heart with selfishness newly defined
Erase the lines between space and time and no longer recognize the scars against the canvas
I refuse to see the pain
Relax the truth into the darkest corners of my mind and enjoy the delusion of infatuation
My consideration for you is none
The words you speak mean nothing
And the love you give will never be enough
So I paint with your tears and sketch with your thoughts
Remove the You that was never in Me and realize that this is me hurting you because I hurt
I want to feel something deeper than love for you
Something better than overstanding as you attempt to innerstand me
And I’ve become too demanding of you over self
Sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all
Walk away detached from my weaknesses
As hearts beat out of sequence and I find myself standing alone
Again
This time is the next time all over again
As beautiful as the first tear begin
We burned holes through words and said all we shouldn’t say
This isn’t love
This is two people fighting to be anything but alone
My misery is your company
And your pain is my shadow
This wasn’t but we made it be
Pressing against the delicate fabrics of time
We spend moments convincing each other of a love we no longer believe in
You deserve better than me
Better than the confusion between 4 walls of Hell
Fighting a battle we lost so long ago
Pretending selfishly that we still have chemistry
I’ve become your worst enemy
The reason for your prayers as you grab at the unseen
Crying softly as you refuse to leave
I’ve become everything you never wanted me to be
...One...
Reaching for you on the empty side on my bed
Somehow forgetting that you are not there
But remembering the warmth of your lips against mine
The taste of late night confessions as words found their way to linked souls
I touched you against an orange moon
Lit stars ablaze as we switched between promises of now and thinking of tomorrow
Soft moans lingered in the emptiness of forever
And now the shadow of your kiss replays love songs against my memory
For the night we lost time in each others eyes
Lost ourselves in each others embrace
And sighed traces of worries against moonstruck skin
This is more than missing you
This is me clutching sheets for your touch
Replacing cold nights with the heat of your memory
Listening to the softness of your whisper against the wants of my heart
Tell me
When you sleep tonight will your dreams think of me?
Will your fingers reach for the sweetness of my touch?
Will you open your eyes and envision me in the darkness?
Will you miss me as much as I am missing you?
But see, this is more than missing you
This is me afraid to let go of yesterday because nothing is promised today
Sometimes we fall even when love isn’t ready to catch us
Controls us through our resistance to accept
And holds us as we pour feelings over heartbroken wounds
Truthfully
We are the greatest love story that will never be
The beauty of hope that I wish was more than a dream
You are everything to me
The softest spoken words that beat from my heart to my mind
The reality behind the illusion of time
And for the night you were mine
And I was yours
We were one
Somehow forgetting that you are not there
But remembering the warmth of your lips against mine
The taste of late night confessions as words found their way to linked souls
I touched you against an orange moon
Lit stars ablaze as we switched between promises of now and thinking of tomorrow
Soft moans lingered in the emptiness of forever
And now the shadow of your kiss replays love songs against my memory
For the night we lost time in each others eyes
Lost ourselves in each others embrace
And sighed traces of worries against moonstruck skin
This is more than missing you
This is me clutching sheets for your touch
Replacing cold nights with the heat of your memory
Listening to the softness of your whisper against the wants of my heart
Tell me
When you sleep tonight will your dreams think of me?
Will your fingers reach for the sweetness of my touch?
Will you open your eyes and envision me in the darkness?
Will you miss me as much as I am missing you?
But see, this is more than missing you
This is me afraid to let go of yesterday because nothing is promised today
Sometimes we fall even when love isn’t ready to catch us
Controls us through our resistance to accept
And holds us as we pour feelings over heartbroken wounds
Truthfully
We are the greatest love story that will never be
The beauty of hope that I wish was more than a dream
You are everything to me
The softest spoken words that beat from my heart to my mind
The reality behind the illusion of time
And for the night you were mine
And I was yours
We were one
...Calling Me...
I feel you calling me
Slow
Penetrating moans where bodies lose sleep
And your orgasm replays like my favorite song on repeat
I feel you calling me as I wrap legs around your body
And kisses run deep like heart beats
Fingers grab and miss hair
Lost words clutch on to skin soaked with Midnight’s air
I feel you calling me even when my body isn’t there
Remember how headboards caressed walls as time stopped and stared
Removed clothes with naked eyes as the sun began to rise
Deep grinds, backs arched and sighs
As hands run nature high
Closed minds, no asking why
One stroke, body begins to cry
Ascend the stairs only made for the Divine
Lost yourself in Heaven but there were no pearly gates
Just the place where my thighs divide and wait to meet your taste
Let your tongue become my savior that renewed my lost faith
Kisses to necks then pillows to face, you’re the extension to my end
Hands slap skin, move to shoulders then start all over again
Can’t help but start to beg you
You whispered “Even stop won’t save you”
I bet the neighbors know my name too
As we switched positions and your climax disobeyed you
Slow
Penetrating moans where bodies lose sleep
And your orgasm replays like my favorite song on repeat
I feel you calling me as I wrap legs around your body
And kisses run deep like heart beats
Fingers grab and miss hair
Lost words clutch on to skin soaked with Midnight’s air
I feel you calling me even when my body isn’t there
Remember how headboards caressed walls as time stopped and stared
Removed clothes with naked eyes as the sun began to rise
Deep grinds, backs arched and sighs
As hands run nature high
Closed minds, no asking why
One stroke, body begins to cry
Ascend the stairs only made for the Divine
Lost yourself in Heaven but there were no pearly gates
Just the place where my thighs divide and wait to meet your taste
Let your tongue become my savior that renewed my lost faith
Kisses to necks then pillows to face, you’re the extension to my end
Hands slap skin, move to shoulders then start all over again
Can’t help but start to beg you
You whispered “Even stop won’t save you”
I bet the neighbors know my name too
As we switched positions and your climax disobeyed you
...My Mother...
I give her the kind of love that dries tears
Offer sincere words that mend failures
And reassure her that we struggle together
To some she is just a mother
But to me she is a purpose
The pride in all I accomplish
The step behind my greatest journey
She is the smile in my soul and the power behind my being
She inspires me to dream beyond living
And gives love a new meaning
She is more than just a mother, she is the reason my heart is beating
The focus my life was needing
And I aspire to be everything she is
Even when my own fears take over
And the world couldn’t seem colder
She lovingly offers a shoulder and I become her baby again
She is more than a bestfriend
She’s a new beginning every time a day starts to end
And I need her more than she could ever need me
2 years after a stroke with slow recovery
She shows me that there are no limits on possibilities
And that tears are useless and go against productivity
So I dry my aching heart and love her again unconditionally
See, to you she’s a woman whose becoming elderly
But to me she’s a timeless beauty heaven sent to me
And everyday I strive harder to be the daughter I was born to be
Offer sincere words that mend failures
And reassure her that we struggle together
To some she is just a mother
But to me she is a purpose
The pride in all I accomplish
The step behind my greatest journey
She is the smile in my soul and the power behind my being
She inspires me to dream beyond living
And gives love a new meaning
She is more than just a mother, she is the reason my heart is beating
The focus my life was needing
And I aspire to be everything she is
Even when my own fears take over
And the world couldn’t seem colder
She lovingly offers a shoulder and I become her baby again
She is more than a bestfriend
She’s a new beginning every time a day starts to end
And I need her more than she could ever need me
2 years after a stroke with slow recovery
She shows me that there are no limits on possibilities
And that tears are useless and go against productivity
So I dry my aching heart and love her again unconditionally
See, to you she’s a woman whose becoming elderly
But to me she’s a timeless beauty heaven sent to me
And everyday I strive harder to be the daughter I was born to be
...Finding My Way...
Lost but not found
4 years that feel like centuries ago I walked away from life and into what has now become my shadow
Premature understanding like birth from wombs that house children who haven’t matured
I walked away from yesterday into the unknown that felt like home
Ran away on a stream of tears into the wilderness in search of me
Because the women on TV never looked quite like me
Nor did the woman in the mirror after I removed remnants of lost dreams
And if silence can help me define these random thoughts that scared away sleep
Maybe looking soul deep could some how define me
So I ran
Heart and mind wide open like the possibilities
No limits enslaved me because this time I ran away free
Free from yesterday and the days before
Free from the ones who only saw me as a lost black girl
Free from beliefs that never made sense to me
Free from me standing in the way of who I was meant to be
4 years that feel like centuries ago I walked away from life and into what has now become my shadow
Premature understanding like birth from wombs that house children who haven’t matured
I walked away from yesterday into the unknown that felt like home
Ran away on a stream of tears into the wilderness in search of me
Because the women on TV never looked quite like me
Nor did the woman in the mirror after I removed remnants of lost dreams
And if silence can help me define these random thoughts that scared away sleep
Maybe looking soul deep could some how define me
So I ran
Heart and mind wide open like the possibilities
No limits enslaved me because this time I ran away free
Free from yesterday and the days before
Free from the ones who only saw me as a lost black girl
Free from beliefs that never made sense to me
Free from me standing in the way of who I was meant to be
...Day Rise...
I remember when I shared you with the sun
Connected over lines as we weaved thoughts like night clouds & stars
Counted moments that we painted with memories of now
I experienced your mind before your body
Appreciated the thoughts before the man
And wondered of the joy behind the way you kissed words with the baritone of your breath
You caressed my mind till day rise put night fall to rest
And we shared space and mind while words lingered against missed sleep
You are the light mornings run to
The dream only skies can dream of
And I see you for all that you are and will forever be
A beckon of light implanted in my memory
Now I count minutes till its just you and me
And the sun
Connected over lines as we weaved thoughts like night clouds & stars
Counted moments that we painted with memories of now
I experienced your mind before your body
Appreciated the thoughts before the man
And wondered of the joy behind the way you kissed words with the baritone of your breath
You caressed my mind till day rise put night fall to rest
And we shared space and mind while words lingered against missed sleep
You are the light mornings run to
The dream only skies can dream of
And I see you for all that you are and will forever be
A beckon of light implanted in my memory
Now I count minutes till its just you and me
And the sun
...Rewrite...
I’m rewriting the world
Tracing back steps of lost and forgotten days
Illuminating my DNA and counting chromosomes
Realizing that I am Queen before I was his Bitch
The moon that highlights the sun
The harmony between Gods and Earths
I am Life to the words that died behind pens
The moment that suspended into eternity
Feeding off my energy
I am the womb of creativity
I give birth to art and call it poetry
Write tears on paper and call it fiction
Listen to your fears and make them my mistakes
I transcend for all women, vibrate in positive space
I am the air in lungs
The voice behind chords that scream
Better than a smokers addiction to nicotine
I am your dream’s favorite dream
I rewrite the world within me and label it “Serene”
Break the shackles for HueManity and let their minds roam free
I am the thought to the thinker
The validity of your illusion
Comparable to the greatest stories
A never ending conclusion
I am the confusion between right and wrong
The heartbeat to your favorite song
The answers, the questions
Your intuition
Your perception
The subjugated deception of the outer world’s reflection
The pulse after resurrection
The assured and aware
The knowledge that feeds the ignorant with care
I am
The world
Or so I have it in me
Write memories to my mental
Redefining society
Tracing back steps of lost and forgotten days
Illuminating my DNA and counting chromosomes
Realizing that I am Queen before I was his Bitch
The moon that highlights the sun
The harmony between Gods and Earths
I am Life to the words that died behind pens
The moment that suspended into eternity
Feeding off my energy
I am the womb of creativity
I give birth to art and call it poetry
Write tears on paper and call it fiction
Listen to your fears and make them my mistakes
I transcend for all women, vibrate in positive space
I am the air in lungs
The voice behind chords that scream
Better than a smokers addiction to nicotine
I am your dream’s favorite dream
I rewrite the world within me and label it “Serene”
Break the shackles for HueManity and let their minds roam free
I am the thought to the thinker
The validity of your illusion
Comparable to the greatest stories
A never ending conclusion
I am the confusion between right and wrong
The heartbeat to your favorite song
The answers, the questions
Your intuition
Your perception
The subjugated deception of the outer world’s reflection
The pulse after resurrection
The assured and aware
The knowledge that feeds the ignorant with care
I am
The world
Or so I have it in me
Write memories to my mental
Redefining society
...Love Me...
You were sent to me
Not wrapped in pretty bows or with bells and whistles
No signs that block lettered my name and labeled you mine
You just appeared like a figment of my imagination
And I wanted you
Wanted you so deep that my veins bleed you and my heart beat only to the syllables of your name
Bared my soul the first night you came and our bodies connected as one
From moon to sun and over again
We kissed blessings to the wind and thank God for the orgasms that took over
As toes curled like hair between your fingers
You penetrated me with worries that this is all we would be
Licked me from my ears to the back of my knees
Between my thighs as your tongue found my beat and we shared blue spots over black nights because cumming has never felt like this
And I have never kissed like this
My body has never bent like this
Your deep strokes where rhythm never missed
You spelled “Us” but it never included I
And I closed my eyes like I didn’t know this would be our first and last time
And you
You kissed my wants good bye like condoms
Dressed and left my heart in a state of hunger
This was all that I never wanted
All that I never asked for
But I always asked for you
Not in pretty bows or with bells and whistles
No block letters that spelled my name
Just that this time you came
To love me.
Not wrapped in pretty bows or with bells and whistles
No signs that block lettered my name and labeled you mine
You just appeared like a figment of my imagination
And I wanted you
Wanted you so deep that my veins bleed you and my heart beat only to the syllables of your name
Bared my soul the first night you came and our bodies connected as one
From moon to sun and over again
We kissed blessings to the wind and thank God for the orgasms that took over
As toes curled like hair between your fingers
You penetrated me with worries that this is all we would be
Licked me from my ears to the back of my knees
Between my thighs as your tongue found my beat and we shared blue spots over black nights because cumming has never felt like this
And I have never kissed like this
My body has never bent like this
Your deep strokes where rhythm never missed
You spelled “Us” but it never included I
And I closed my eyes like I didn’t know this would be our first and last time
And you
You kissed my wants good bye like condoms
Dressed and left my heart in a state of hunger
This was all that I never wanted
All that I never asked for
But I always asked for you
Not in pretty bows or with bells and whistles
No block letters that spelled my name
Just that this time you came
To love me.
...Forever...
Give me the night
And I will give you the forever that rest on moonlights that shine against the life of your eyes
You move me
Like swoons that faint against perpetuated heartbeats that wait
I dream contently of the day your love will be my only and one
As we count stars that run into the sun
I touch you
Slowly and assured that this time and space we share is by fate
You are my soul mate with whom my heart is wide open
I dreamt of you before our words were secretly chosen
Destiny has spoken and you are the love I always prayed for
To touch your hand brings tears to my soul
For I never thought that I would get a chance to hold you
Taste your name against my tongues caress
I would walk this Earth alone till death if it meant I could have you after I take my last breath
I could never leave you even if heartache resided in my chest
I will love you long after time fails this test
Apprehensive fears lay to rest as I confess that I more than over love you with want
I need you like daylight needs the sun
And if this means our beginning has just begun
I wish for happily ever after and hope the ending never comes.
And I will give you the forever that rest on moonlights that shine against the life of your eyes
You move me
Like swoons that faint against perpetuated heartbeats that wait
I dream contently of the day your love will be my only and one
As we count stars that run into the sun
I touch you
Slowly and assured that this time and space we share is by fate
You are my soul mate with whom my heart is wide open
I dreamt of you before our words were secretly chosen
Destiny has spoken and you are the love I always prayed for
To touch your hand brings tears to my soul
For I never thought that I would get a chance to hold you
Taste your name against my tongues caress
I would walk this Earth alone till death if it meant I could have you after I take my last breath
I could never leave you even if heartache resided in my chest
I will love you long after time fails this test
Apprehensive fears lay to rest as I confess that I more than over love you with want
I need you like daylight needs the sun
And if this means our beginning has just begun
I wish for happily ever after and hope the ending never comes.
...Don't Want To Love You...
I don’t want to love you
Rather not care about the way that you feel or how your heart moves
Don’t want to remember the space between your words and breath
Visualize the way you look at me as if I am greatest part of you
Or reminisce about the way we connected, chemistry blinding my view
I don’t want to feel
Don’t want to find day dreams waiting for me as if exhaling these mental imageries that some how project you and me in a kiss that leaves me weak in the knees
I don’t want to close my eyes and continue to see you in between my heart and soul beating
Testing me to forget love is like the first time all over again
Forget that maybe this time you aren’t like all the lost men
And that maybe this time love stories won’t end
Or that maybe its fear
Maybe I’m scared
Scared to love someone on the same level that I love myself
Scared to run into your heart when the world leaves me with no one else
Scared to be vulnerable
Scared to be attached
Scared to say the things my heart can never retract
Like how I love you
Love you so simple
Love you like the 3 tears that fall down my cheek because I have never loved like this
Love you wholly
Love you complete
Love you after my heart loses it last beat
I just want to love you
Love you with all of me
But I’ll never be her
So I rather not love you
Love you in ways your heart beats for her
Love you like the days that rise with her in mind
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll reject me every time
Don’t want to love you when you and she are meant to be
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll never love me
Rather not care about the way that you feel or how your heart moves
Don’t want to remember the space between your words and breath
Visualize the way you look at me as if I am greatest part of you
Or reminisce about the way we connected, chemistry blinding my view
I don’t want to feel
Don’t want to find day dreams waiting for me as if exhaling these mental imageries that some how project you and me in a kiss that leaves me weak in the knees
I don’t want to close my eyes and continue to see you in between my heart and soul beating
Testing me to forget love is like the first time all over again
Forget that maybe this time you aren’t like all the lost men
And that maybe this time love stories won’t end
Or that maybe its fear
Maybe I’m scared
Scared to love someone on the same level that I love myself
Scared to run into your heart when the world leaves me with no one else
Scared to be vulnerable
Scared to be attached
Scared to say the things my heart can never retract
Like how I love you
Love you so simple
Love you like the 3 tears that fall down my cheek because I have never loved like this
Love you wholly
Love you complete
Love you after my heart loses it last beat
I just want to love you
Love you with all of me
But I’ll never be her
So I rather not love you
Love you in ways your heart beats for her
Love you like the days that rise with her in mind
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll reject me every time
Don’t want to love you when you and she are meant to be
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll never love me
...Cum For Me...
Imagination passed voyeuristic turnstiles
As I watched you, watching me, enjoying you, inside of me
Deep
Long
Slow strokes that leave moans caught in my throat
I’m tingling
As your fingers trace my breast
Nipples beg for your tongue’s caress
Dream colored thighs more than slippery when wet
Fingers tensed in my hair, whispering moans against my neck
As you move deeper
Closer
Let our rhythm do the rest
Arch my back and roll my hips, say your name without request
In and out
Pressing harder
Skin flushed
Dripping sweat
Grabbing sheets in between you removing the nature of our sex
No more teasing
Looked into my eyes as your hands started easing
Between my legs than around my thighs
Kissed my clit so passionately that orgasms started to cry
Hands grip your face, legs trembling, tears fall from my eyes
Skin flushed from steady cumming, gently turns me on my side
Enters slowly
Bites my shoulder
Face in pillow
Now I’m completely bent over
Clutching skin
Moves deeper in
G-spot humming
Can’t tell where he ends or I begin
As I watched you, watching me, enjoying you, inside of me
Deep
Long
Slow strokes that leave moans caught in my throat
I’m tingling
As your fingers trace my breast
Nipples beg for your tongue’s caress
Dream colored thighs more than slippery when wet
Fingers tensed in my hair, whispering moans against my neck
As you move deeper
Closer
Let our rhythm do the rest
Arch my back and roll my hips, say your name without request
In and out
Pressing harder
Skin flushed
Dripping sweat
Grabbing sheets in between you removing the nature of our sex
No more teasing
Looked into my eyes as your hands started easing
Between my legs than around my thighs
Kissed my clit so passionately that orgasms started to cry
Hands grip your face, legs trembling, tears fall from my eyes
Skin flushed from steady cumming, gently turns me on my side
Enters slowly
Bites my shoulder
Face in pillow
Now I’m completely bent over
Clutching skin
Moves deeper in
G-spot humming
Can’t tell where he ends or I begin
...So High...
He pulls at my subconscious
Gives me dreams in colors only God could create
And I allow him to have me
Breathe him into lungs over waiting of the pure adulteration of his sex
He feeds me with emotions that leave my eyes bloodshot heartbreak red
Concealed behind pain that stabs mental wounds like convictions as thoughts bleed into my brain
He is the only one who will listen to my fears
And there he has me
Inside of dark filled nights where sunlight never showed its face
We shared secrets like needles that wipe out the human race
And I breathe him
Into lungs excused from the awakening of self beneath red colored eyes with the iris of deception
He is my connection to feeling because I’m tried of wanting
And if u pierce me I will test positive for giving a fuck long after love gave up
I am the injured in need of a quick fix
And if the lies that hide behind smoke hue highs will allow me to forget forgiving
I’ll take another toke and wish prayers up to my Lord for healing
My problem isn’t dealing with reality painted feelings
But the after affects once the sentiments retract and I’m the one left vulnerable and willing
So he gives me a high better than sun light skies and I give him
I give him
I give him the nothingness that sits inside my soul since the day you told me it was over
That’s when I lick my lips, make my hips dip and let him take over
When your insides are dark your heart will beat colder
Penetrate that dark space; no longer see your face as I look over my shoulder
Because rejection is staring at me
I allowed feelings to have me
Emotions burned deep before consciousness could grab me
Gives me dreams in colors only God could create
And I allow him to have me
Breathe him into lungs over waiting of the pure adulteration of his sex
He feeds me with emotions that leave my eyes bloodshot heartbreak red
Concealed behind pain that stabs mental wounds like convictions as thoughts bleed into my brain
He is the only one who will listen to my fears
And there he has me
Inside of dark filled nights where sunlight never showed its face
We shared secrets like needles that wipe out the human race
And I breathe him
Into lungs excused from the awakening of self beneath red colored eyes with the iris of deception
He is my connection to feeling because I’m tried of wanting
And if u pierce me I will test positive for giving a fuck long after love gave up
I am the injured in need of a quick fix
And if the lies that hide behind smoke hue highs will allow me to forget forgiving
I’ll take another toke and wish prayers up to my Lord for healing
My problem isn’t dealing with reality painted feelings
But the after affects once the sentiments retract and I’m the one left vulnerable and willing
So he gives me a high better than sun light skies and I give him
I give him
I give him the nothingness that sits inside my soul since the day you told me it was over
That’s when I lick my lips, make my hips dip and let him take over
When your insides are dark your heart will beat colder
Penetrate that dark space; no longer see your face as I look over my shoulder
Because rejection is staring at me
I allowed feelings to have me
Emotions burned deep before consciousness could grab me
...Listening...
I found him sleeping behind open eyes
Dazed
Confused by reality cold enough to freeze winters
He speaks whispers to his long forgotten faith
Pain seems to know his name
Claimed his soul as he reached for love behind closed doors
He lives in the past so forever won’t change
Lived in the moment till their ending came
And I
I offer a shoulder that wipes tears with open ears for the weeping
Overstand the situation when I can’t even comprehend the broken heart of men
He cries
Allowing me to nourish egos with sentiments he can no longer feel
Me saying “Your heart will heal” means nothing
Doesn’t replace her walking out of closed heart doors as he begged her to say something
So I get silent
Listen to him pray as he cries tears of shame to a God he tries not to blame
To say I feel his pain would be a cliché
So I listen
Rambled words where sense doesn’t matter
He compares sorrows to death as heartbeats race in his chest
His only request is to not feel
Not deal with love slipping through fingers when he thought this time was real
And I still say nothing
Rather listen with open ears than my optimistic heart that says “This will get better”
And whether or not I helped him put his pieces back together is still a mystery
That night angels sent him to me and I temporarily stopped the pain
By listening
Dazed
Confused by reality cold enough to freeze winters
He speaks whispers to his long forgotten faith
Pain seems to know his name
Claimed his soul as he reached for love behind closed doors
He lives in the past so forever won’t change
Lived in the moment till their ending came
And I
I offer a shoulder that wipes tears with open ears for the weeping
Overstand the situation when I can’t even comprehend the broken heart of men
He cries
Allowing me to nourish egos with sentiments he can no longer feel
Me saying “Your heart will heal” means nothing
Doesn’t replace her walking out of closed heart doors as he begged her to say something
So I get silent
Listen to him pray as he cries tears of shame to a God he tries not to blame
To say I feel his pain would be a cliché
So I listen
Rambled words where sense doesn’t matter
He compares sorrows to death as heartbeats race in his chest
His only request is to not feel
Not deal with love slipping through fingers when he thought this time was real
And I still say nothing
Rather listen with open ears than my optimistic heart that says “This will get better”
And whether or not I helped him put his pieces back together is still a mystery
That night angels sent him to me and I temporarily stopped the pain
By listening
...U, Me & A Pen...
This is not a poem
This is me fixated by the content of your body
So entangled I neglect previous lovers as I dwell on the swell of your bottom lip
Taste your meaning under dim lit lights
Drink of your intoxicating red wine thought process that leaves me mentally tingling
Throbbing for clarity as we move beyond sheets to scribes of your dictation
Your words lay before me
Naked
Pleading for the sanity of my tongue against the sway of your frame like finger to pen
We connected nouns and adjectives as sweat grazed our skin
Like heat to flame
Built up infernos as letters whispered my name
Pulsations punctuate when the rise and fall came
Pen stroked harder
You erected words that we dare not speak
As ink penetrate meanings like g-spots soul deep
Hmmm…just like honey
Feeds you the nourishment you seek
Grip notebooks like hair; sugar cane mouth hums you to peak
This is me fixated by the content of your body
So entangled I neglect previous lovers as I dwell on the swell of your bottom lip
Taste your meaning under dim lit lights
Drink of your intoxicating red wine thought process that leaves me mentally tingling
Throbbing for clarity as we move beyond sheets to scribes of your dictation
Your words lay before me
Naked
Pleading for the sanity of my tongue against the sway of your frame like finger to pen
We connected nouns and adjectives as sweat grazed our skin
Like heat to flame
Built up infernos as letters whispered my name
Pulsations punctuate when the rise and fall came
Pen stroked harder
You erected words that we dare not speak
As ink penetrate meanings like g-spots soul deep
Hmmm…just like honey
Feeds you the nourishment you seek
Grip notebooks like hair; sugar cane mouth hums you to peak
...A Simple Poem...
I wanted to write this because sometimes I can be a little too complex
Run off on tangents
Metaphorically compare you to planets
And galaxies
With stars
Like milky ways
And you’re supposed to know I’m talking about your finger tips
Do you catch my drift?
I can get a little….deep when words and art meet
So I figured it be best if I simply speak the things that rest on my mind
One line at a time
So, here it goes…
I think your dope
Fly, funky and fresh all wrapped into one
And if there was another word under the sun to describe you, I would use that one too
Like, call you “YourSoBeautiful” without spaces
Then erase it
Write it again in upper and lower cases
You know like “YoUrSoBeAuTiful” and hope it place a smile on your face and
Somehow stimulate your heart to skip a beat or two for me
Infatuation has consumed me
Got me day dreaming about you at work as if that’s what I’m paid to do
Losing my thoughts in meetings, got my coworkers asking about you
Like “Hey, who is this dude?”
“No for real, who is he?”
So I tell little white lies and pray that God forgives me
Something nonchalant like “No one special. Really”
When we all know
It gets
No ‘specialer’
Than you
I dig you
Not caring if you even dig me back
Not going to retract statements if friendship is all we have and you leave it at that
Not going to try to persuade you by stating heart felt facts
Like….
Your words move me before any emotion could
And if you would give me the chance
I will love you forever
Never wasting a second to appreciate you, ever
And you make my stomach flutter more than butterflies do
In so deep that when I touch you
It feels like my very first time falling
All over again
But since you want to be friends I have to respect that
Seal this simple poem with a kiss
And take a step back
Run off on tangents
Metaphorically compare you to planets
And galaxies
With stars
Like milky ways
And you’re supposed to know I’m talking about your finger tips
Do you catch my drift?
I can get a little….deep when words and art meet
So I figured it be best if I simply speak the things that rest on my mind
One line at a time
So, here it goes…
I think your dope
Fly, funky and fresh all wrapped into one
And if there was another word under the sun to describe you, I would use that one too
Like, call you “YourSoBeautiful” without spaces
Then erase it
Write it again in upper and lower cases
You know like “YoUrSoBeAuTiful” and hope it place a smile on your face and
Somehow stimulate your heart to skip a beat or two for me
Infatuation has consumed me
Got me day dreaming about you at work as if that’s what I’m paid to do
Losing my thoughts in meetings, got my coworkers asking about you
Like “Hey, who is this dude?”
“No for real, who is he?”
So I tell little white lies and pray that God forgives me
Something nonchalant like “No one special. Really”
When we all know
It gets
No ‘specialer’
Than you
I dig you
Not caring if you even dig me back
Not going to retract statements if friendship is all we have and you leave it at that
Not going to try to persuade you by stating heart felt facts
Like….
Your words move me before any emotion could
And if you would give me the chance
I will love you forever
Never wasting a second to appreciate you, ever
And you make my stomach flutter more than butterflies do
In so deep that when I touch you
It feels like my very first time falling
All over again
But since you want to be friends I have to respect that
Seal this simple poem with a kiss
And take a step back
...My Favorite Poet...
He speaks to me in poems
Connecting on stanzas of love as his words seep slow like time
He is my favorite prose
The unexplainable as we link words like kisses on love forgiven skin
We are two broken hearts shattered like shotgun feelings to open mind windows
Held together by the faith that love and poetry still coexist
We speak volumes in silence as pens mate with paper
Make words tremble and climax like scratches on back to sheets that bleed metaphors of the thinkable
Derive from vocabic solitude that he is the half to my whole and I am his complete
His inspiration is the color of my soul
The seemingly endless hues of emotion filled hearts that rain love like tears
This feeling is in every color like auras that radiate suns and moons
He is my muse
The courage behind lack of love words tattooed on bared sleeves because this time will be different
He is my favorite poet
Connecting on stanzas of love as his words seep slow like time
He is my favorite prose
The unexplainable as we link words like kisses on love forgiven skin
We are two broken hearts shattered like shotgun feelings to open mind windows
Held together by the faith that love and poetry still coexist
We speak volumes in silence as pens mate with paper
Make words tremble and climax like scratches on back to sheets that bleed metaphors of the thinkable
Derive from vocabic solitude that he is the half to my whole and I am his complete
His inspiration is the color of my soul
The seemingly endless hues of emotion filled hearts that rain love like tears
This feeling is in every color like auras that radiate suns and moons
He is my muse
The courage behind lack of love words tattooed on bared sleeves because this time will be different
He is my favorite poet
...Last Night...
Last night I kissed you while you dreamed
Hoped to intrude with the sweet taste of my heart so you could remember me at dawn
I kissed you a thousand times and whispered thoughts that lay complacent on my mind
In that space and time you were solely mine and we shared moments
I stopped breathing just so we could breathe as one
And gave you my heart every time your beat took a rest
Last night I laid my head on your chest just so I could hear your soul and I lost myself in you
Eyes closed still could not dim your perfection
As lids flutter, slightly open, your eyes are Love’s reflection
In nocturnal states, bodies mend without sexual connections
Erect in dream, mental orgasms subconscious affection
As you hold me closer and kiss me on my neck and
Hand strums the spine of back as you speak my name’s confession
“Baby….I love you”
Last night I kissed you while you dreamed
Hoped to intrude with the sweet taste of my heart so you could remember me at dawn
I whispered love a thousand times and waited for the moment I could look you in your eyes
And say “I love you too”
Hoped to intrude with the sweet taste of my heart so you could remember me at dawn
I kissed you a thousand times and whispered thoughts that lay complacent on my mind
In that space and time you were solely mine and we shared moments
I stopped breathing just so we could breathe as one
And gave you my heart every time your beat took a rest
Last night I laid my head on your chest just so I could hear your soul and I lost myself in you
Eyes closed still could not dim your perfection
As lids flutter, slightly open, your eyes are Love’s reflection
In nocturnal states, bodies mend without sexual connections
Erect in dream, mental orgasms subconscious affection
As you hold me closer and kiss me on my neck and
Hand strums the spine of back as you speak my name’s confession
“Baby….I love you”
Last night I kissed you while you dreamed
Hoped to intrude with the sweet taste of my heart so you could remember me at dawn
I whispered love a thousand times and waited for the moment I could look you in your eyes
And say “I love you too”
...Dial Tone...
You pick up telephone lines dead to forgiving souls as you seek retribution from the free.
I don’t understand you
Allow the dial tone to convey my inner thoughts
Adequately process proclamations that your injustice is rightfully just as you beat Queens like pen to paper for baring a thought.
Concluding with a validating back of the hand for speaking when not spoken to
She worshipped you even when scared to
Allow me my fallen King to understand the unjust in your feeble attempts to reclaim your manhood by hitting her?
Speak to me in volumes
Dwell on the major and minute not sparing a detail
Revisit the beginning transcended to the climatic end of you stored in cell blocks similar to zoo cages for acting an ass
Feed me lies of how 5’3” next to your 6’1” frame ended with you feeling intimidated
Explain how questions lead to a blood stained mouth and locked bathroom door
Fill me with your anger, your miseducation
Your defeat so that this bullshit you spit to me over phone tapped lines can all make sense
You Sir are a coward
No longer worthy of a name
Adorn a scarlet letter like wife beater to your chest as you are one and the same
Tell me; was it easy beating her just to profess you will change?
Process this thought, my non verbal exchange
Dial Tone
Please don’t call here again
I don’t understand you
Allow the dial tone to convey my inner thoughts
Adequately process proclamations that your injustice is rightfully just as you beat Queens like pen to paper for baring a thought.
Concluding with a validating back of the hand for speaking when not spoken to
She worshipped you even when scared to
Allow me my fallen King to understand the unjust in your feeble attempts to reclaim your manhood by hitting her?
Speak to me in volumes
Dwell on the major and minute not sparing a detail
Revisit the beginning transcended to the climatic end of you stored in cell blocks similar to zoo cages for acting an ass
Feed me lies of how 5’3” next to your 6’1” frame ended with you feeling intimidated
Explain how questions lead to a blood stained mouth and locked bathroom door
Fill me with your anger, your miseducation
Your defeat so that this bullshit you spit to me over phone tapped lines can all make sense
You Sir are a coward
No longer worthy of a name
Adorn a scarlet letter like wife beater to your chest as you are one and the same
Tell me; was it easy beating her just to profess you will change?
Process this thought, my non verbal exchange
Dial Tone
Please don’t call here again
...All & Nothing...
Sad love songs on repeat as I vacantly replay our last dialogue and how you call this my insecurities
When all I call it is loving you
I weep
Slowly, un-assured, unanswered
Didn't smash plates against walls or defy your manhood
I simply walked
Head high
Tears melting, heart beating
Slowly thinking toxic filled thoughts and political views of how this love thing should work
I realize I unconditonalized the conditions of emotions
Tears cried streams into oceans
Spoke on notions that were simply too old fashioned
And committed myself to divine heart ache that leads to soft pillows that replicate what you once were
Comfort
Complacent
Soft
Gently, consistently wiping away tears that I never knew fell
I sleep
Eyes wide open
Comatose dreams of days were it was just you and I and the chemistry felt between our eyes resound on the palm of your hand against my spine
We were all and nothing
Shattered, slightly broken fragments
2 beings of a love that never was
Now I regret all and nothing
And although I can't say that these sad love songs do much nor do the silent movie style memories depicting a background that host no new scenery
I can't help but wonder about the way you felt
This pain runs so deep that my soul screams for help
I just wish heart break was an emotion that love woulda kept
And I guess this is what it feels like
To have the butterflies you created in my stomach be replaced
As anxiety sets in and my mind tries to erase you when I am honestly not ready for it to
I pack
Irretraceable love stories and sentiments
Don't touch pictures of moonlight kisses or sheets that once whispered our names
Tears cry as I remember when you told me that you and I have changed
Apologies leaked from my lips as I begged for you to love me the same
Way
I believed
In all and nothing at all
And maybe it is my insecurities that heightened the rise in our fall
But I regret nothing at all
Because this was me loving you
When all I call it is loving you
I weep
Slowly, un-assured, unanswered
Didn't smash plates against walls or defy your manhood
I simply walked
Head high
Tears melting, heart beating
Slowly thinking toxic filled thoughts and political views of how this love thing should work
I realize I unconditonalized the conditions of emotions
Tears cried streams into oceans
Spoke on notions that were simply too old fashioned
And committed myself to divine heart ache that leads to soft pillows that replicate what you once were
Comfort
Complacent
Soft
Gently, consistently wiping away tears that I never knew fell
I sleep
Eyes wide open
Comatose dreams of days were it was just you and I and the chemistry felt between our eyes resound on the palm of your hand against my spine
We were all and nothing
Shattered, slightly broken fragments
2 beings of a love that never was
Now I regret all and nothing
And although I can't say that these sad love songs do much nor do the silent movie style memories depicting a background that host no new scenery
I can't help but wonder about the way you felt
This pain runs so deep that my soul screams for help
I just wish heart break was an emotion that love woulda kept
And I guess this is what it feels like
To have the butterflies you created in my stomach be replaced
As anxiety sets in and my mind tries to erase you when I am honestly not ready for it to
I pack
Irretraceable love stories and sentiments
Don't touch pictures of moonlight kisses or sheets that once whispered our names
Tears cry as I remember when you told me that you and I have changed
Apologies leaked from my lips as I begged for you to love me the same
Way
I believed
In all and nothing at all
And maybe it is my insecurities that heightened the rise in our fall
But I regret nothing at all
Because this was me loving you
...23...
23
She asked for death because it has to feel better than this
Yet she still curled into her arms, protecting her chest from a fight that she could never win
Black and blue was her name
Eyes against palms
Bloodied mouth against breath
Chest caved and lungs collapsed
She never knew pain before this
23 times she wanted to fight back
Fight for what she understood
That no man had a right to make her feel less than self
Less than right when his actions were wrong
But she couldn't bat an eye as malice rested on his tongue
Didn't cry a tear as he proclaimed her less than nothing
Didn’t beg him to stop hitting her because that would be injustice
Didn't wonder when he stopped loving her
Didn't complain about the knee in her side, fingers weaved in her hair
Didn't yell as he broke tables and asymmetric frames that once held wedding photos and first communions
She just prayed
Barred hands to knees
Knees to hurt
Head to back of shoulder spread like eagles
And she prayed till his barrage of inconsistent lies halted and all she heard were tears leak like words on paper
She didn’t fight back because her children sat idle
Too scared to move, to bewildered to cry
Too young to understand his reason why
And though he doesnt say it, daddy loves mommy he just hates her complaining
Her dignity was all but faded as it became 23 times to the date and
His words became stipulated reasons for hitting her
See, see, see this is for his father who kicked his mother in womb and chest
Ribs bruised beyond recognition, hit her so hard his hand was impressed
"No you can't leave me"
Kicked her in side and stomach till he thought all life had left
And eventhough he survived, his mother was laid to rest
So he fought her for his life lost in transition
Commiserated his confidence in the shadows of her subconscious
Her fear was his purpose
Chose her to be a spectacle
Diluted her sexuality
He was her monster in the closet
The boogey man unseen
And something in between
But most of all he was her husband
Or whatever that means
She asked for death because it has to feel better than this
Yet she still curled into her arms, protecting her chest from a fight that she could never win
Black and blue was her name
Eyes against palms
Bloodied mouth against breath
Chest caved and lungs collapsed
She never knew pain before this
23 times she wanted to fight back
Fight for what she understood
That no man had a right to make her feel less than self
Less than right when his actions were wrong
But she couldn't bat an eye as malice rested on his tongue
Didn't cry a tear as he proclaimed her less than nothing
Didn’t beg him to stop hitting her because that would be injustice
Didn't wonder when he stopped loving her
Didn't complain about the knee in her side, fingers weaved in her hair
Didn't yell as he broke tables and asymmetric frames that once held wedding photos and first communions
She just prayed
Barred hands to knees
Knees to hurt
Head to back of shoulder spread like eagles
And she prayed till his barrage of inconsistent lies halted and all she heard were tears leak like words on paper
She didn’t fight back because her children sat idle
Too scared to move, to bewildered to cry
Too young to understand his reason why
And though he doesnt say it, daddy loves mommy he just hates her complaining
Her dignity was all but faded as it became 23 times to the date and
His words became stipulated reasons for hitting her
See, see, see this is for his father who kicked his mother in womb and chest
Ribs bruised beyond recognition, hit her so hard his hand was impressed
"No you can't leave me"
Kicked her in side and stomach till he thought all life had left
And eventhough he survived, his mother was laid to rest
So he fought her for his life lost in transition
Commiserated his confidence in the shadows of her subconscious
Her fear was his purpose
Chose her to be a spectacle
Diluted her sexuality
He was her monster in the closet
The boogey man unseen
And something in between
But most of all he was her husband
Or whatever that means
...Can You Hear Him?...
Can you hear him?
He speaks in a whisper slightly louder than his weakening heartbeat
Clutching the lifeless palm of a mother long forgotten before death arrived at her door
He is praying.
Not for self, not for preservation
Insides ravished beyond starvation
He prays for breath
To breathe air eradicated of pain laced death he prays for understanding.
How can a God so forgiving bare no soul?
Kills thousands in seconds, when did God become so cold?
He prays for his father who will never come home.
Can you hear him?
Silent
Lungs filled with dirt from an earth more than shaken
It’s taking every inch of his being not close his eyes for the last time
11 days beyond dehydration, his eyes will bleed if he cries
Sunset to sunrise he watches his family die
His soul may be free but he is physically buried alive
Hoping that tomorrow will be the day rescuers hear his hallow cry
Can you hear him?
He speaks in a whisper slightly louder than his weakening heartbeat
Clutching the lifeless palm of a mother long forgotten before death arrived at her door
He is praying.
Not for self, not for preservation
Insides ravished beyond starvation
He prays for breath
To breathe air eradicated of pain laced death he prays for understanding.
How can a God so forgiving bare no soul?
Kills thousands in seconds, when did God become so cold?
He prays for his father who will never come home.
Can you hear him?
Silent
Lungs filled with dirt from an earth more than shaken
It’s taking every inch of his being not close his eyes for the last time
11 days beyond dehydration, his eyes will bleed if he cries
Sunset to sunrise he watches his family die
His soul may be free but he is physically buried alive
Hoping that tomorrow will be the day rescuers hear his hallow cry
Can you hear him?
...Maybe It's Me...
Maybe it really is me
Look, I'm sorry for this paradox that allotts me the syntax to break your heart
But before you finally walk away can you just stop and allow me to explain the feelings that I endure and the origin of which they came
For example, the other day you said "I want this forever" and while your heart strings looped on romantic energies I simply was lost in the perception of you and I together
Its not that I don't love you, its just that I said I would never
Hold on to someone when I truly question if we can make it through any weather
Can you hold my hand during treacherous storms? Silence thunder with dilapidating words so cold winters won't do no harm?
And can you shape and form my summers so elegantly created by Stevie? Not leave me on poetic justice nights while helicopters search for souls no longer racial pleasing?
Please just give me 3 more mins of your time
I know that my words are beginning to hurt while you think im feeding you a line
But let me share what is really on my mind and how this is truly about me
I can't continue to let you sleep at night in the midst of a strangers company
Making love with no love in our eyes
Every time I walk out that door you don't think I know you cry?
You yourself have said it thousands of times that I am nothing without you
But baby, you are nothing with me
For centuries man was taught to love the essence of a woman beyond her Eptiome
But your jealous ways condone my envy of how someone who seems so strong can be hurt with me
Just a man standing on the passage of time seeking entry
I want to love till I run empty
Bleed so deep I can give life to plenty
Whisper secrets so gently that midnight wind takes a rest
You and I weren't meant to be, this was only a test
I tried to give you all of me, nothing more nothing less
But this feeling in my chest suggest that we we had time will some day forget
Please don't cry, this is not about you
You tried your best
This is about me being a man and trying not to hurt you like the last one who left
No pain, no stress
Tears stream fast, wiping away hurt you can no longer suppress
The feelings I possessed just laid on the surface, sat void on my soul but you never seemed to notice
Lost and out of focus, we continued to rekindle flames even though the embers were just smoke and
Confused emotions never spoken
You packed my shit and screamed "Leave" and that's when I knew you weren't joking
Turned knobs on restless doors end with hearts freshly broken
"Please don't leave" caught in your throat and
Now we are here again, but this time sanity was chosen
I'm sorry, I can't talk this out, I can't keep this going
Our past is a past that is golden, but our future is nothing but a notion
Please don't be angry, please don't continue to keep holding
On to that maybe it is you when honestly, truthfully it is me
I have imperfect flaws that your heart will always see
White lies on my tongue that your soul will never believe
You will continue to cry every time I step towards the door to leave
And you will always be at your worse as long as you are with me
Look, I'm sorry for this paradox that allotts me the syntax to break your heart
But before you finally walk away can you just stop and allow me to explain the feelings that I endure and the origin of which they came
For example, the other day you said "I want this forever" and while your heart strings looped on romantic energies I simply was lost in the perception of you and I together
Its not that I don't love you, its just that I said I would never
Hold on to someone when I truly question if we can make it through any weather
Can you hold my hand during treacherous storms? Silence thunder with dilapidating words so cold winters won't do no harm?
And can you shape and form my summers so elegantly created by Stevie? Not leave me on poetic justice nights while helicopters search for souls no longer racial pleasing?
Please just give me 3 more mins of your time
I know that my words are beginning to hurt while you think im feeding you a line
But let me share what is really on my mind and how this is truly about me
I can't continue to let you sleep at night in the midst of a strangers company
Making love with no love in our eyes
Every time I walk out that door you don't think I know you cry?
You yourself have said it thousands of times that I am nothing without you
But baby, you are nothing with me
For centuries man was taught to love the essence of a woman beyond her Eptiome
But your jealous ways condone my envy of how someone who seems so strong can be hurt with me
Just a man standing on the passage of time seeking entry
I want to love till I run empty
Bleed so deep I can give life to plenty
Whisper secrets so gently that midnight wind takes a rest
You and I weren't meant to be, this was only a test
I tried to give you all of me, nothing more nothing less
But this feeling in my chest suggest that we we had time will some day forget
Please don't cry, this is not about you
You tried your best
This is about me being a man and trying not to hurt you like the last one who left
No pain, no stress
Tears stream fast, wiping away hurt you can no longer suppress
The feelings I possessed just laid on the surface, sat void on my soul but you never seemed to notice
Lost and out of focus, we continued to rekindle flames even though the embers were just smoke and
Confused emotions never spoken
You packed my shit and screamed "Leave" and that's when I knew you weren't joking
Turned knobs on restless doors end with hearts freshly broken
"Please don't leave" caught in your throat and
Now we are here again, but this time sanity was chosen
I'm sorry, I can't talk this out, I can't keep this going
Our past is a past that is golden, but our future is nothing but a notion
Please don't be angry, please don't continue to keep holding
On to that maybe it is you when honestly, truthfully it is me
I have imperfect flaws that your heart will always see
White lies on my tongue that your soul will never believe
You will continue to cry every time I step towards the door to leave
And you will always be at your worse as long as you are with me
...{Freewrite} Kisses To My Memories...
It was never spoken
Our words were shared between haphazard kisses and akward positions while we sexed
Lost hours in kismet that left us spent
It was written on the walls as sweat stained sheets covered the dialogue
What was meant was in the condom wrapper on the floor next to clothes that showed we lost control
It was in the sound of orgasms
The bites on your skin
The scratches on your back
The pulling of my hair as you tried to renact the war between throbbing sensations and emotional acts
The understanding of what we were was said the moment I climaxed
Perpetual visions of stars and galaxies as I arched my back and you filled me
The moment of truth.....that this is all we will ever be
Our words were shared between haphazard kisses and akward positions while we sexed
Lost hours in kismet that left us spent
It was written on the walls as sweat stained sheets covered the dialogue
What was meant was in the condom wrapper on the floor next to clothes that showed we lost control
It was in the sound of orgasms
The bites on your skin
The scratches on your back
The pulling of my hair as you tried to renact the war between throbbing sensations and emotional acts
The understanding of what we were was said the moment I climaxed
Perpetual visions of stars and galaxies as I arched my back and you filled me
The moment of truth.....that this is all we will ever be
...Ur Reason...
And it was passion
Something deep inside me sparked and ignited an old flame long burned out
Overdue cares and concerns weighed heavy on my heart and in my ears as if my heartbeat would suddenly disappear
And I allowed these feelings to overcome my conscious
My want for something tangible and permanent to fixate the void placed within the confinement of my soul laid complacent as if a distant memory
With you, I no longer wept
My somber tears of unredeemed love laid pleasantly in the recess of my past
With you, I was different
No longer a dream upon the horizon of vitalization
I was a long awaited wishing well that quenched your desirable thirst
In the eyes of the patient and praying I was your everlasting want
That force placed in the back of your mind that foreshadowed hurt and pain
The taste of fulfillment that never reached your palate
The sensation of envy conveyed in the eyes of those once your beholder
The beauty in the making of the sunrise filled with whimsical shades of change and perpetual hues of love and dedication
I was your reason
Some how possessed the key to who you ideally wanted to be
I molded your worries
Realigned your courage
And chiseled away your stress
Similar to oxygen, I gave you breath
Inanimately animated your dreams into motion
Defiantly designed a pedestal fit for a King but obtained by his popper
I unknowingly empowered you to have me
I gave you me
Allowed my cloak of determination and strong will to drop and reveal my flaws
My imperfections
I gave you my purity
I gave you my tears
But most importantly
I gave you my trust
Relied on words to nurture my understanding that this would be something different
Permitted you to rewrite my history to some how include you and I
I placed my feelings on a wish
Closed my eyes through tears of confusion and prayed that this would be it
Painted over tainted memories just so I could be whole
Your insight when I was still blind
I became the other half that you were not ready for
Your back bone in the midst of chaos
Because I wanted to be needed
Needed to feel as if my existence was a necessity
And you validated my desire
Ascertained my emotions and created harmony in my shattered understanding of unconditional consistency
Placed my emotions on invisible wave lengths and damaged the esteem of my individuality
Harmonized my feelings with the other women vying for your hand
You shattered all that I had built myself up to be
Broke down the levies
And tore through the guard rails to my heart
You ruptured my mental once plagued with simplistic thoughts of independency
And lavished it with self enthused thoughts of building a dynasty together
You produced this feeling
The picturesque figures of me smiling
My scene replicated into Mona Lisa's, contained with sands of dark brown and reds
Brought to life by the stroke of you hand as if a brush used on canvas
You dictated this experience
The rise and fall of this occasion
Portrayed my feelings on white tinted walls against fragments of a broken heart
You allowed this to happen
When you always knew your intentions
So now I'm sitting here
Removing the memories
The thoughts
The moments
The images
On my wall
Something deep inside me sparked and ignited an old flame long burned out
Overdue cares and concerns weighed heavy on my heart and in my ears as if my heartbeat would suddenly disappear
And I allowed these feelings to overcome my conscious
My want for something tangible and permanent to fixate the void placed within the confinement of my soul laid complacent as if a distant memory
With you, I no longer wept
My somber tears of unredeemed love laid pleasantly in the recess of my past
With you, I was different
No longer a dream upon the horizon of vitalization
I was a long awaited wishing well that quenched your desirable thirst
In the eyes of the patient and praying I was your everlasting want
That force placed in the back of your mind that foreshadowed hurt and pain
The taste of fulfillment that never reached your palate
The sensation of envy conveyed in the eyes of those once your beholder
The beauty in the making of the sunrise filled with whimsical shades of change and perpetual hues of love and dedication
I was your reason
Some how possessed the key to who you ideally wanted to be
I molded your worries
Realigned your courage
And chiseled away your stress
Similar to oxygen, I gave you breath
Inanimately animated your dreams into motion
Defiantly designed a pedestal fit for a King but obtained by his popper
I unknowingly empowered you to have me
I gave you me
Allowed my cloak of determination and strong will to drop and reveal my flaws
My imperfections
I gave you my purity
I gave you my tears
But most importantly
I gave you my trust
Relied on words to nurture my understanding that this would be something different
Permitted you to rewrite my history to some how include you and I
I placed my feelings on a wish
Closed my eyes through tears of confusion and prayed that this would be it
Painted over tainted memories just so I could be whole
Your insight when I was still blind
I became the other half that you were not ready for
Your back bone in the midst of chaos
Because I wanted to be needed
Needed to feel as if my existence was a necessity
And you validated my desire
Ascertained my emotions and created harmony in my shattered understanding of unconditional consistency
Placed my emotions on invisible wave lengths and damaged the esteem of my individuality
Harmonized my feelings with the other women vying for your hand
You shattered all that I had built myself up to be
Broke down the levies
And tore through the guard rails to my heart
You ruptured my mental once plagued with simplistic thoughts of independency
And lavished it with self enthused thoughts of building a dynasty together
You produced this feeling
The picturesque figures of me smiling
My scene replicated into Mona Lisa's, contained with sands of dark brown and reds
Brought to life by the stroke of you hand as if a brush used on canvas
You dictated this experience
The rise and fall of this occasion
Portrayed my feelings on white tinted walls against fragments of a broken heart
You allowed this to happen
When you always knew your intentions
So now I'm sitting here
Removing the memories
The thoughts
The moments
The images
On my wall
...Unspoken Heart...
The greatest line I ever wrote began with "I" and ended with "You"
There weren’t many words in between
No similes or perpetual connotations
I didn’t run on sentences explaining emotions long endue
Or metaphorically compare feelings to a summer’s day
My pen scratched "You" before the slant in my handwriting could even birth "I"
Pushed out the meaning, waited for my words to rip out with a cry
Pulsations in my heart would breathe easy before my courage could die
And I wrote "love" in between the two
Carefully concentrated on each letter that symbolically spelled my deepest secret
That I love you before any poem could express
Specific to any prose that crosses my lips
I bleed you through veins that long for your caress
Starve for your touch
You are my complete
My beginning and end
And even if these words never speak your name it is etched across my soul
Depleted on my chest
Has found solace in my breath
I breathe you without thinking
Need you without wanting
Drink you without thirst
Satiated before your response
Because these feelings were finally heard
There weren’t many words in between
No similes or perpetual connotations
I didn’t run on sentences explaining emotions long endue
Or metaphorically compare feelings to a summer’s day
My pen scratched "You" before the slant in my handwriting could even birth "I"
Pushed out the meaning, waited for my words to rip out with a cry
Pulsations in my heart would breathe easy before my courage could die
And I wrote "love" in between the two
Carefully concentrated on each letter that symbolically spelled my deepest secret
That I love you before any poem could express
Specific to any prose that crosses my lips
I bleed you through veins that long for your caress
Starve for your touch
You are my complete
My beginning and end
And even if these words never speak your name it is etched across my soul
Depleted on my chest
Has found solace in my breath
I breathe you without thinking
Need you without wanting
Drink you without thirst
Satiated before your response
Because these feelings were finally heard
...Mahogany Blues...
I hadn't realized I forgot how to love until I dreamt of you
Closed my eyes and my mind allowed me relive silent memories
So perfect like sunset orange and purple
Kisses relaxed on dehydrated skin the shade of mahogany blues and rhythms
We were melodies without singing
Gentle touches while eyes glaze over
Deep in thought as you rest deep in me
Stroking patiently, begging for me to let this be
Tears magnetically drawn to the inside of your palm because I gave you my insecurities
Willingly drunk off incoherently climaxes because it has never felt like this
Please.....never stop saying my name
How is it that you make me feel so beautiful when all I see is nothing?
Secretly...I whispered thank you to the heavens because without loving me you showed me how it feels
And while forever isn't promised what if now gives me the same chills?
Making love so passionately that time sits still
We say so much even we we aren't talking
Scream so loud when we are far away
Miss uncontrollably while I lay in your arms
Because in my heart I'm praying that today will always stay and tomorrow never comes
Closed my eyes and my mind allowed me relive silent memories
So perfect like sunset orange and purple
Kisses relaxed on dehydrated skin the shade of mahogany blues and rhythms
We were melodies without singing
Gentle touches while eyes glaze over
Deep in thought as you rest deep in me
Stroking patiently, begging for me to let this be
Tears magnetically drawn to the inside of your palm because I gave you my insecurities
Willingly drunk off incoherently climaxes because it has never felt like this
Please.....never stop saying my name
How is it that you make me feel so beautiful when all I see is nothing?
Secretly...I whispered thank you to the heavens because without loving me you showed me how it feels
And while forever isn't promised what if now gives me the same chills?
Making love so passionately that time sits still
We say so much even we we aren't talking
Scream so loud when we are far away
Miss uncontrollably while I lay in your arms
Because in my heart I'm praying that today will always stay and tomorrow never comes
...Clarity...
This is my moment of clarity
Knees shaking
Palms sweating
Eyes shifting between right and wrong
Decisions on the tip of my tongue leave my mouth dry
I'm searching for nourishing words of wisdom
In fountains withheld by memories
Gauge enthusiastic sentiments of courage
Bare hands folding, scratching at complex sanity
Now restricted from free thinking
Free emotions now cost tears
Dialectic heartbeats and tunnel visions
No, my moment of clarity is when my eyes no longer hide
That the pain contained behind this prose no longer feels like home
My stanzas lack depth
Nonchalant feelings and emotionless after thoughts
I'm burning bridges faster than I can build them
My sarcasm is infiltrated as truth
While my truth is stored in baggage that will never be claimed
I'm holding on to luggage that solely bares my name
Cause I
Seek
Feelings
Some other than my own
Notions etched in hieroglyphics
Take me back to ancestry where the simplicity of meanings are depicted as new age artifacts
Wholesome up bringing in traditional settings
Where the fight was not between you and I but I and you against the world
Creating life consented by our choices
Hear pin drops while we wait for our child's voice
His life was not a decision but a destiny
Not a mistake because lustful nights robbed us of thinking
Contemplating the after before the now
Sweat stained skin with champagne promises drunken with malt liquor reality
Burdening climaxes because we knew this time was different
No, our clarity is that we were never meant to be
Star and galaxies were not perceived in ribbons song by Stevie
Forcifying love when we barely like each other
Finding reasons to coexist because now our x and y chromosomes exist
Smiles brought by 3rd party heartbeats
Sadness found in harsh reality
This moment raped of your forever
Battered because we both said never
Screaming cause this is a disaster on another level
How did this happen to me, u, us
We were looking for love with lust
Shame misconstrued with understanding
Pain brought by a world whose too demanding
And we shared....a past
Walked separately then as one
Like moon and sun on solar planes
Similar to night and day but shared the same name
Pretended to need each other on squeaky bed frames
Moaned for forgiveness, prayed for change
Clutched for skin while we realized that nothing will ever be the same
Then the cry came
A moment a clarity with the next breath
Pregnancy test with two lines steals the beat in my chest
This is now destiny, not a decision, not a regret
I'm slowly packing baggage I can't handle
And I can't even finish the rest
Knees shaking
Palms sweating
Eyes shifting between right and wrong
Decisions on the tip of my tongue leave my mouth dry
I'm searching for nourishing words of wisdom
In fountains withheld by memories
Gauge enthusiastic sentiments of courage
Bare hands folding, scratching at complex sanity
Now restricted from free thinking
Free emotions now cost tears
Dialectic heartbeats and tunnel visions
No, my moment of clarity is when my eyes no longer hide
That the pain contained behind this prose no longer feels like home
My stanzas lack depth
Nonchalant feelings and emotionless after thoughts
I'm burning bridges faster than I can build them
My sarcasm is infiltrated as truth
While my truth is stored in baggage that will never be claimed
I'm holding on to luggage that solely bares my name
Cause I
Seek
Feelings
Some other than my own
Notions etched in hieroglyphics
Take me back to ancestry where the simplicity of meanings are depicted as new age artifacts
Wholesome up bringing in traditional settings
Where the fight was not between you and I but I and you against the world
Creating life consented by our choices
Hear pin drops while we wait for our child's voice
His life was not a decision but a destiny
Not a mistake because lustful nights robbed us of thinking
Contemplating the after before the now
Sweat stained skin with champagne promises drunken with malt liquor reality
Burdening climaxes because we knew this time was different
No, our clarity is that we were never meant to be
Star and galaxies were not perceived in ribbons song by Stevie
Forcifying love when we barely like each other
Finding reasons to coexist because now our x and y chromosomes exist
Smiles brought by 3rd party heartbeats
Sadness found in harsh reality
This moment raped of your forever
Battered because we both said never
Screaming cause this is a disaster on another level
How did this happen to me, u, us
We were looking for love with lust
Shame misconstrued with understanding
Pain brought by a world whose too demanding
And we shared....a past
Walked separately then as one
Like moon and sun on solar planes
Similar to night and day but shared the same name
Pretended to need each other on squeaky bed frames
Moaned for forgiveness, prayed for change
Clutched for skin while we realized that nothing will ever be the same
Then the cry came
A moment a clarity with the next breath
Pregnancy test with two lines steals the beat in my chest
This is now destiny, not a decision, not a regret
I'm slowly packing baggage I can't handle
And I can't even finish the rest
...Imagination...
You are my favorite day dream
A vivid representation of my imaginative thoughts
You are my eyes wide open mirage
Can recall the silken texture of your hair
Felt in the impulse of my hand before even meeting you
Traced your smooth skin emphasized by the rise of mountain ranges of life
As sky lines rested on the sway of your lips
Punctuated by the light of your eyes
You are solace to my senses
So adequate to 3rd dimensional visions
You are my life's mission
Soul burning
Head spinning
Parallel to ecstasy
You have me feening for another dose
Almost comatose
Sub dreams so splendid that I can't seem to intervene between reality and day dreams
So I simply enjoy the tempting creations invented by my imagination
A vivid representation of my imaginative thoughts
You are my eyes wide open mirage
Can recall the silken texture of your hair
Felt in the impulse of my hand before even meeting you
Traced your smooth skin emphasized by the rise of mountain ranges of life
As sky lines rested on the sway of your lips
Punctuated by the light of your eyes
You are solace to my senses
So adequate to 3rd dimensional visions
You are my life's mission
Soul burning
Head spinning
Parallel to ecstasy
You have me feening for another dose
Almost comatose
Sub dreams so splendid that I can't seem to intervene between reality and day dreams
So I simply enjoy the tempting creations invented by my imagination
...Ur Song...
Through harsh parallelistic symbolism and categorized sentiments
My thoughts bleed of you
Conceive you in heart plagued mentals and modified processes
Love should be scared of you
Twilight nights spend solidified days on your shoulders
Baring more than any man should
You breathe easy in solitude
Heart aches for understanding, body pleads for gratitude
Begging for significant ramification that once made you whole
You just want to feel different
Feel any other emotion besides alone
Even with time on ur side u still feel lonely
And maybe this perception of you is masked behind sad interludes
But what else would your song be?
Would it be complacent melodies in uneven tones?
Even when you cry late at night your soul still won't come home
Day dreams dance like saxophones, calalu bassist sing with harmonic baritones
Tell me, was she your favorite song?
Your most precious memory?
Was kissing her priceless like gold plated tapestry?
Making love in violin symphonies, first chair while harps mend with strings
Gave her unconditioned emotions promised and bared on sleeves
Tell me, when did she decide to leave?
Is it because love is scared of you?
Or is it the fact you look like her past regardless of what you do?
His shoes would never fit you
Stature bigger than his mold
Steady fast was her future till her past grabbed a hold
So what is ur song?
Is it the sweetest thing I've ever heard?
Blue venacular spun like molasses
Drips slowly as I rest on your words
Tears press to an edge, don't give her a song she doesn't deserve
Beats defined by hearts breath, lyrics lack cause there's no action
behind the verbs
My thoughts bleed of you
Conceive you in heart plagued mentals and modified processes
Love should be scared of you
Twilight nights spend solidified days on your shoulders
Baring more than any man should
You breathe easy in solitude
Heart aches for understanding, body pleads for gratitude
Begging for significant ramification that once made you whole
You just want to feel different
Feel any other emotion besides alone
Even with time on ur side u still feel lonely
And maybe this perception of you is masked behind sad interludes
But what else would your song be?
Would it be complacent melodies in uneven tones?
Even when you cry late at night your soul still won't come home
Day dreams dance like saxophones, calalu bassist sing with harmonic baritones
Tell me, was she your favorite song?
Your most precious memory?
Was kissing her priceless like gold plated tapestry?
Making love in violin symphonies, first chair while harps mend with strings
Gave her unconditioned emotions promised and bared on sleeves
Tell me, when did she decide to leave?
Is it because love is scared of you?
Or is it the fact you look like her past regardless of what you do?
His shoes would never fit you
Stature bigger than his mold
Steady fast was her future till her past grabbed a hold
So what is ur song?
Is it the sweetest thing I've ever heard?
Blue venacular spun like molasses
Drips slowly as I rest on your words
Tears press to an edge, don't give her a song she doesn't deserve
Beats defined by hearts breath, lyrics lack cause there's no action
behind the verbs
...Obsession...
Lived mistakes with no lessons
Searching for answers to lost questions
Borderline obsessions
Time's suggestion is that my answer to love is in your possession
Mingled bed sheets, sweating then second guessing
Naked skin, praising God for this blessing
Eyes closed to new reflections
Mirrored in your perfection
Orgasms rise and fall every 10 seconds
Heartbeats like drums hard in your chest and
Mind blown from my confession
Shouldn't have said so much, should have tested
Shallow waters ran deep with my word's inflection
Now I'm laying here second guessing
Lip to tongue steady pressing
Minutes to hours with no resting
Searching for forever thru passion's aggression
Searching for answers to lost questions
Borderline obsessions
Time's suggestion is that my answer to love is in your possession
Mingled bed sheets, sweating then second guessing
Naked skin, praising God for this blessing
Eyes closed to new reflections
Mirrored in your perfection
Orgasms rise and fall every 10 seconds
Heartbeats like drums hard in your chest and
Mind blown from my confession
Shouldn't have said so much, should have tested
Shallow waters ran deep with my word's inflection
Now I'm laying here second guessing
Lip to tongue steady pressing
Minutes to hours with no resting
Searching for forever thru passion's aggression
...Lies...
My mind says touch me
Body seeks intimate conversation on sheetless frames and moon soaked nights
Inner thoughts throbbing so bad that I mentally orgasm
Legs spasms and heart beats
In so deep that im the beginning to your end
Was never your girl, just something more than a friend
The endearing and willingly ear to lend, the answer to your call before you could even press send
The significantly available even though my own heart can't go through this again
And as I sit here with chills my mind continues to spin
Playing in my own hair helps me remember how you feel
How it felt to cum....
So close yet still be so far from being your permanent memory
Reminisce so long that my future walks away with envy
This was not destiny, we were just a now
The definition supplementing casual friends because commitment went out of style
No sense in asking how or why
We made love in the dark by the light of your eyes
We kissed on broken promises that were simply implied
We walked away because our hearts could no longer lie
Body seeks intimate conversation on sheetless frames and moon soaked nights
Inner thoughts throbbing so bad that I mentally orgasm
Legs spasms and heart beats
In so deep that im the beginning to your end
Was never your girl, just something more than a friend
The endearing and willingly ear to lend, the answer to your call before you could even press send
The significantly available even though my own heart can't go through this again
And as I sit here with chills my mind continues to spin
Playing in my own hair helps me remember how you feel
How it felt to cum....
So close yet still be so far from being your permanent memory
Reminisce so long that my future walks away with envy
This was not destiny, we were just a now
The definition supplementing casual friends because commitment went out of style
No sense in asking how or why
We made love in the dark by the light of your eyes
We kissed on broken promises that were simply implied
We walked away because our hearts could no longer lie
...Searching...
I'm trying to find myself
Find out who I am
What makes me me
So I look towards spirituality, try to find a meaning
I search through dialogue with a God long forgotten
Pray tears so that paths of deception can cease
Hands bare knees, I pray for inner peace
I pray to find myself, figure out what this life means
Meditate on staples of discomfort if it deems that the woman in the mirror will finally make sense to me
And I continue to search for myself
Under sheets with you in between
Understand how monotone orgasms can help me touch the unseen
Perpetual emotions, notions broadcast on amnesiac sleeves
Trace day dreams in your eyes and find out what this casual sex means
But I can't find myself
Find out who I am
What makes me me
So I look towards spirituality, try to find a meaning
I search through dialogue with a God long forgotten
Pray tears so that paths of deception can cease
Hands bare knees, I pray for inner peace
I pray to find myself, figure out what this life means
Meditate on staples of discomfort if it deems that the woman in the mirror will finally make sense to me
And I continue to search for myself
Under sheets with you in between
Understand how monotone orgasms can help me touch the unseen
Perpetual emotions, notions broadcast on amnesiac sleeves
Trace day dreams in your eyes and find out what this casual sex means
But I can't find myself
...You...
I'm kissing you, lip to tongue
Mouth to want, bottom to top
Breathing as one, Lick, bite then stop
Repetition as mind wonders
In dreams and thoughts I am not sharing this with you
This moment is void of you
Inconsistently thinking of him
Day dreams and narcissistic thoughts of him
Fragmented so beautifully, I have built my perception
My egotistically rendition of what my soul mate should look, sound and feel like
I have replaced you before you could start
Scenes and plots filtrated to never fit your mold
You never had a chance before you tried out
So please excuse me as I speak his name I don't even know
Gaze into a sunrise of his eyes I've never seen
Horizons built on the sound of his voice
Don't realize the lost in my eyes
The blindness behind my touch
The seeking
Wanting
Mentally replaying years of searching just to be here with you
Someone so simplistically imperfect for me
Nothing and all that I ever wanted
Is you
Mouth to want, bottom to top
Breathing as one, Lick, bite then stop
Repetition as mind wonders
In dreams and thoughts I am not sharing this with you
This moment is void of you
Inconsistently thinking of him
Day dreams and narcissistic thoughts of him
Fragmented so beautifully, I have built my perception
My egotistically rendition of what my soul mate should look, sound and feel like
I have replaced you before you could start
Scenes and plots filtrated to never fit your mold
You never had a chance before you tried out
So please excuse me as I speak his name I don't even know
Gaze into a sunrise of his eyes I've never seen
Horizons built on the sound of his voice
Don't realize the lost in my eyes
The blindness behind my touch
The seeking
Wanting
Mentally replaying years of searching just to be here with you
Someone so simplistically imperfect for me
Nothing and all that I ever wanted
Is you
...Raindrops...
Kiss me under rain filled nights
Thunder claps, like heart beats
You have me kissing dark clouds away and searching for starless nights
Touching memories of lustful smiles
Remembering nights with you by my side
Pouring feelings into mason jars on vacant window seals
I lay still in this tranquil state, reminiscing of tasteful kisses upon my drunken skin
Tracing outlines of raindrops against the juxtapose of your eyes
Licking salted cries from the tip of your lips
Fingering intimate poses, scratching at orgasms
Climatic captions in weather suitable for those in winter clothes
We lay naked under lightning and thunderstorms
Sharing warmth in each others arms
And become one
Thunder claps, like heart beats
You have me kissing dark clouds away and searching for starless nights
Touching memories of lustful smiles
Remembering nights with you by my side
Pouring feelings into mason jars on vacant window seals
I lay still in this tranquil state, reminiscing of tasteful kisses upon my drunken skin
Tracing outlines of raindrops against the juxtapose of your eyes
Licking salted cries from the tip of your lips
Fingering intimate poses, scratching at orgasms
Climatic captions in weather suitable for those in winter clothes
We lay naked under lightning and thunderstorms
Sharing warmth in each others arms
And become one
...Waiting...
Consistently
Touching tangible fabrics of emotions
Feelings sought after broken heart strings play old love songs
The simplicity of attraction
Kissing moments, sharing memories
Starry eyed gazes, perplexed paraphrases because dialogue flutters with the butterflies in your stomach
Lingering moments lead to
Remembering the sensation of your skin felt between my index and thumb
Inhale you and exhale love
Breathing your existence, can't remember days before you
Trace looseleaf rain drops against foggy windows
Rearrange clouds to comfort day dreams
Licking my lips and still taste you
Touching my skin and I still feel you
Closing my eyes but I still see you
Can count on one hand the seconds between each thought about you
Decorating vacant walls of life with hues of change because once again this heart stands whole
Feelings on sleeves, soul baring closed door emotions
Mouth dry with anticipation of words stale dated
I want to confess all that my feelings suggest that the art of how we meet is simply kismet
But my past is relentless
So I wait
Touching tangible fabrics of emotions
Feelings sought after broken heart strings play old love songs
The simplicity of attraction
Kissing moments, sharing memories
Starry eyed gazes, perplexed paraphrases because dialogue flutters with the butterflies in your stomach
Lingering moments lead to
Remembering the sensation of your skin felt between my index and thumb
Inhale you and exhale love
Breathing your existence, can't remember days before you
Trace looseleaf rain drops against foggy windows
Rearrange clouds to comfort day dreams
Licking my lips and still taste you
Touching my skin and I still feel you
Closing my eyes but I still see you
Can count on one hand the seconds between each thought about you
Decorating vacant walls of life with hues of change because once again this heart stands whole
Feelings on sleeves, soul baring closed door emotions
Mouth dry with anticipation of words stale dated
I want to confess all that my feelings suggest that the art of how we meet is simply kismet
But my past is relentless
So I wait
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