...Don't Want To Love You...

I don’t want to love you
Rather not care about the way that you feel or how your heart moves
Don’t want to remember the space between your words and breath
Visualize the way you look at me as if I am greatest part of you
Or reminisce about the way we connected, chemistry blinding my view
I don’t want to feel
Don’t want to find day dreams waiting for me as if exhaling these mental imageries that some how project you and me in a kiss that leaves me weak in the knees
I don’t want to close my eyes and continue to see you in between my heart and soul beating
Testing me to forget love is like the first time all over again
Forget that maybe this time you aren’t like all the lost men
And that maybe this time love stories won’t end
Or that maybe its fear
Maybe I’m scared
Scared to love someone on the same level that I love myself
Scared to run into your heart when the world leaves me with no one else
Scared to be vulnerable
Scared to be attached
Scared to say the things my heart can never retract
Like how I love you
Love you so simple
Love you like the 3 tears that fall down my cheek because I have never loved like this
Love you wholly
Love you complete
Love you after my heart loses it last beat
I just want to love you
Love you with all of me
But I’ll never be her
So I rather not love you
Love you in ways your heart beats for her
Love you like the days that rise with her in mind
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll reject me every time
Don’t want to love you when you and she are meant to be
Don’t want to love you when I know you’ll never love me