Maybe this is regret
Remorse filled sorrow of the actions that took place and the words later shared
Maybe this is the breaking of hearts once realized you don’t care
Or the truth that always resided there
Inconsiderate of the love that is given until none remains
Or you treating me like the women who have already came
And gone
I want to imagine that you know how it feels to feel
Understand the struggle between self and what’s real
That not all people are able to deal with giving themselves to someone whole heartedly
Now every part of me wishes the past never was
Wishes that we hadn’t grown so close and apart in a matter of hours
Wishes I had more power over my senses
Wishing that I never mentioned the confessions on my heart
I’m not asking you to love me
I’m just asking you to give a fuck about my feelings
And as anger rises to the top of emotions I’d rather not deal with
I find myself suspended in between tears and despise
You aren’t the man I fell for
And maybe I should have allowed more time
Or opened my eyes and saw the realness that is you
But sometimes even lies hide behind the perception people give you
So this is me saying sorry to you
I’m sorry for falling
Sorry for giving you parts of me I’ve only shared with self
Sorry for waking up to think of you and no one else
Sorry for being available to you within a moments breath
Sorry for not walking away from you
Because now I know it would have been best
...Everything...
Looking at the bigger picture
Reviewing the smile behind its purpose
Laugh hues as we think of past memories repainted anew
Yet I forget the details
Over look your heart with selfishness newly defined
Erase the lines between space and time and no longer recognize the scars against the canvas
I refuse to see the pain
Relax the truth into the darkest corners of my mind and enjoy the delusion of infatuation
My consideration for you is none
The words you speak mean nothing
And the love you give will never be enough
So I paint with your tears and sketch with your thoughts
Remove the You that was never in Me and realize that this is me hurting you because I hurt
I want to feel something deeper than love for you
Something better than overstanding as you attempt to innerstand me
And I’ve become too demanding of you over self
Sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all
Walk away detached from my weaknesses
As hearts beat out of sequence and I find myself standing alone
Again
This time is the next time all over again
As beautiful as the first tear begin
We burned holes through words and said all we shouldn’t say
This isn’t love
This is two people fighting to be anything but alone
My misery is your company
And your pain is my shadow
This wasn’t but we made it be
Pressing against the delicate fabrics of time
We spend moments convincing each other of a love we no longer believe in
You deserve better than me
Better than the confusion between 4 walls of Hell
Fighting a battle we lost so long ago
Pretending selfishly that we still have chemistry
I’ve become your worst enemy
The reason for your prayers as you grab at the unseen
Crying softly as you refuse to leave
I’ve become everything you never wanted me to be
Reviewing the smile behind its purpose
Laugh hues as we think of past memories repainted anew
Yet I forget the details
Over look your heart with selfishness newly defined
Erase the lines between space and time and no longer recognize the scars against the canvas
I refuse to see the pain
Relax the truth into the darkest corners of my mind and enjoy the delusion of infatuation
My consideration for you is none
The words you speak mean nothing
And the love you give will never be enough
So I paint with your tears and sketch with your thoughts
Remove the You that was never in Me and realize that this is me hurting you because I hurt
I want to feel something deeper than love for you
Something better than overstanding as you attempt to innerstand me
And I’ve become too demanding of you over self
Sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all
Walk away detached from my weaknesses
As hearts beat out of sequence and I find myself standing alone
Again
This time is the next time all over again
As beautiful as the first tear begin
We burned holes through words and said all we shouldn’t say
This isn’t love
This is two people fighting to be anything but alone
My misery is your company
And your pain is my shadow
This wasn’t but we made it be
Pressing against the delicate fabrics of time
We spend moments convincing each other of a love we no longer believe in
You deserve better than me
Better than the confusion between 4 walls of Hell
Fighting a battle we lost so long ago
Pretending selfishly that we still have chemistry
I’ve become your worst enemy
The reason for your prayers as you grab at the unseen
Crying softly as you refuse to leave
I’ve become everything you never wanted me to be
...One...
Reaching for you on the empty side on my bed
Somehow forgetting that you are not there
But remembering the warmth of your lips against mine
The taste of late night confessions as words found their way to linked souls
I touched you against an orange moon
Lit stars ablaze as we switched between promises of now and thinking of tomorrow
Soft moans lingered in the emptiness of forever
And now the shadow of your kiss replays love songs against my memory
For the night we lost time in each others eyes
Lost ourselves in each others embrace
And sighed traces of worries against moonstruck skin
This is more than missing you
This is me clutching sheets for your touch
Replacing cold nights with the heat of your memory
Listening to the softness of your whisper against the wants of my heart
Tell me
When you sleep tonight will your dreams think of me?
Will your fingers reach for the sweetness of my touch?
Will you open your eyes and envision me in the darkness?
Will you miss me as much as I am missing you?
But see, this is more than missing you
This is me afraid to let go of yesterday because nothing is promised today
Sometimes we fall even when love isn’t ready to catch us
Controls us through our resistance to accept
And holds us as we pour feelings over heartbroken wounds
Truthfully
We are the greatest love story that will never be
The beauty of hope that I wish was more than a dream
You are everything to me
The softest spoken words that beat from my heart to my mind
The reality behind the illusion of time
And for the night you were mine
And I was yours
We were one
Somehow forgetting that you are not there
But remembering the warmth of your lips against mine
The taste of late night confessions as words found their way to linked souls
I touched you against an orange moon
Lit stars ablaze as we switched between promises of now and thinking of tomorrow
Soft moans lingered in the emptiness of forever
And now the shadow of your kiss replays love songs against my memory
For the night we lost time in each others eyes
Lost ourselves in each others embrace
And sighed traces of worries against moonstruck skin
This is more than missing you
This is me clutching sheets for your touch
Replacing cold nights with the heat of your memory
Listening to the softness of your whisper against the wants of my heart
Tell me
When you sleep tonight will your dreams think of me?
Will your fingers reach for the sweetness of my touch?
Will you open your eyes and envision me in the darkness?
Will you miss me as much as I am missing you?
But see, this is more than missing you
This is me afraid to let go of yesterday because nothing is promised today
Sometimes we fall even when love isn’t ready to catch us
Controls us through our resistance to accept
And holds us as we pour feelings over heartbroken wounds
Truthfully
We are the greatest love story that will never be
The beauty of hope that I wish was more than a dream
You are everything to me
The softest spoken words that beat from my heart to my mind
The reality behind the illusion of time
And for the night you were mine
And I was yours
We were one
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