...Everything...

Looking at the bigger picture
Reviewing the smile behind its purpose
Laugh hues as we think of past memories repainted anew
Yet I forget the details
Over look your heart with selfishness newly defined
Erase the lines between space and time and no longer recognize the scars against the canvas
I refuse to see the pain
Relax the truth into the darkest corners of my mind and enjoy the delusion of infatuation
My consideration for you is none
The words you speak mean nothing
And the love you give will never be enough
So I paint with your tears and sketch with your thoughts
Remove the You that was never in Me and realize that this is me hurting you because I hurt
I want to feel something deeper than love for you
Something better than overstanding as you attempt to innerstand me
And I’ve become too demanding of you over self
Sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all
Walk away detached from my weaknesses
As hearts beat out of sequence and I find myself standing alone
Again
This time is the next time all over again
As beautiful as the first tear begin
We burned holes through words and said all we shouldn’t say
This isn’t love
This is two people fighting to be anything but alone
My misery is your company
And your pain is my shadow
This wasn’t but we made it be
Pressing against the delicate fabrics of time
We spend moments convincing each other of a love we no longer believe in
You deserve better than me
Better than the confusion between 4 walls of Hell
Fighting a battle we lost so long ago
Pretending selfishly that we still have chemistry
I’ve become your worst enemy
The reason for your prayers as you grab at the unseen
Crying softly as you refuse to leave
I’ve become everything you never wanted me to be