...My Apology...

Maybe this is regret
Remorse filled sorrow of the actions that took place and the words later shared
Maybe this is the breaking of hearts once realized you don’t care
Or the truth that always resided there
Inconsiderate of the love that is given until none remains
Or you treating me like the women who have already came
And gone
I want to imagine that you know how it feels to feel
Understand the struggle between self and what’s real
That not all people are able to deal with giving themselves to someone whole heartedly
Now every part of me wishes the past never was
Wishes that we hadn’t grown so close and apart in a matter of hours
Wishes I had more power over my senses
Wishing that I never mentioned the confessions on my heart
I’m not asking you to love me
I’m just asking you to give a fuck about my feelings
And as anger rises to the top of emotions I’d rather not deal with
I find myself suspended in between tears and despise
You aren’t the man I fell for
And maybe I should have allowed more time
Or opened my eyes and saw the realness that is you
But sometimes even lies hide behind the perception people give you
So this is me saying sorry to you
I’m sorry for falling
Sorry for giving you parts of me I’ve only shared with self
Sorry for waking up to think of you and no one else
Sorry for being available to you within a moments breath
Sorry for not walking away from you
Because now I know it would have been best