Sad love songs on repeat as I vacantly replay our last dialogue and how you call this my insecurities
When all I call it is loving you
I weep
Slowly, un-assured, unanswered
Didn't smash plates against walls or defy your manhood
I simply walked
Head high
Tears melting, heart beating
Slowly thinking toxic filled thoughts and political views of how this love thing should work
I realize I unconditonalized the conditions of emotions
Tears cried streams into oceans
Spoke on notions that were simply too old fashioned
And committed myself to divine heart ache that leads to soft pillows that replicate what you once were
Comfort
Complacent
Soft
Gently, consistently wiping away tears that I never knew fell
I sleep
Eyes wide open
Comatose dreams of days were it was just you and I and the chemistry felt between our eyes resound on the palm of your hand against my spine
We were all and nothing
Shattered, slightly broken fragments
2 beings of a love that never was
Now I regret all and nothing
And although I can't say that these sad love songs do much nor do the silent movie style memories depicting a background that host no new scenery
I can't help but wonder about the way you felt
This pain runs so deep that my soul screams for help
I just wish heart break was an emotion that love woulda kept
And I guess this is what it feels like
To have the butterflies you created in my stomach be replaced
As anxiety sets in and my mind tries to erase you when I am honestly not ready for it to
I pack
Irretraceable love stories and sentiments
Don't touch pictures of moonlight kisses or sheets that once whispered our names
Tears cry as I remember when you told me that you and I have changed
Apologies leaked from my lips as I begged for you to love me the same
Way
I believed
In all and nothing at all
And maybe it is my insecurities that heightened the rise in our fall
But I regret nothing at all
Because this was me loving you
...23...
23
She asked for death because it has to feel better than this
Yet she still curled into her arms, protecting her chest from a fight that she could never win
Black and blue was her name
Eyes against palms
Bloodied mouth against breath
Chest caved and lungs collapsed
She never knew pain before this
23 times she wanted to fight back
Fight for what she understood
That no man had a right to make her feel less than self
Less than right when his actions were wrong
But she couldn't bat an eye as malice rested on his tongue
Didn't cry a tear as he proclaimed her less than nothing
Didn’t beg him to stop hitting her because that would be injustice
Didn't wonder when he stopped loving her
Didn't complain about the knee in her side, fingers weaved in her hair
Didn't yell as he broke tables and asymmetric frames that once held wedding photos and first communions
She just prayed
Barred hands to knees
Knees to hurt
Head to back of shoulder spread like eagles
And she prayed till his barrage of inconsistent lies halted and all she heard were tears leak like words on paper
She didn’t fight back because her children sat idle
Too scared to move, to bewildered to cry
Too young to understand his reason why
And though he doesnt say it, daddy loves mommy he just hates her complaining
Her dignity was all but faded as it became 23 times to the date and
His words became stipulated reasons for hitting her
See, see, see this is for his father who kicked his mother in womb and chest
Ribs bruised beyond recognition, hit her so hard his hand was impressed
"No you can't leave me"
Kicked her in side and stomach till he thought all life had left
And eventhough he survived, his mother was laid to rest
So he fought her for his life lost in transition
Commiserated his confidence in the shadows of her subconscious
Her fear was his purpose
Chose her to be a spectacle
Diluted her sexuality
He was her monster in the closet
The boogey man unseen
And something in between
But most of all he was her husband
Or whatever that means
She asked for death because it has to feel better than this
Yet she still curled into her arms, protecting her chest from a fight that she could never win
Black and blue was her name
Eyes against palms
Bloodied mouth against breath
Chest caved and lungs collapsed
She never knew pain before this
23 times she wanted to fight back
Fight for what she understood
That no man had a right to make her feel less than self
Less than right when his actions were wrong
But she couldn't bat an eye as malice rested on his tongue
Didn't cry a tear as he proclaimed her less than nothing
Didn’t beg him to stop hitting her because that would be injustice
Didn't wonder when he stopped loving her
Didn't complain about the knee in her side, fingers weaved in her hair
Didn't yell as he broke tables and asymmetric frames that once held wedding photos and first communions
She just prayed
Barred hands to knees
Knees to hurt
Head to back of shoulder spread like eagles
And she prayed till his barrage of inconsistent lies halted and all she heard were tears leak like words on paper
She didn’t fight back because her children sat idle
Too scared to move, to bewildered to cry
Too young to understand his reason why
And though he doesnt say it, daddy loves mommy he just hates her complaining
Her dignity was all but faded as it became 23 times to the date and
His words became stipulated reasons for hitting her
See, see, see this is for his father who kicked his mother in womb and chest
Ribs bruised beyond recognition, hit her so hard his hand was impressed
"No you can't leave me"
Kicked her in side and stomach till he thought all life had left
And eventhough he survived, his mother was laid to rest
So he fought her for his life lost in transition
Commiserated his confidence in the shadows of her subconscious
Her fear was his purpose
Chose her to be a spectacle
Diluted her sexuality
He was her monster in the closet
The boogey man unseen
And something in between
But most of all he was her husband
Or whatever that means
...Can You Hear Him?...
Can you hear him?
He speaks in a whisper slightly louder than his weakening heartbeat
Clutching the lifeless palm of a mother long forgotten before death arrived at her door
He is praying.
Not for self, not for preservation
Insides ravished beyond starvation
He prays for breath
To breathe air eradicated of pain laced death he prays for understanding.
How can a God so forgiving bare no soul?
Kills thousands in seconds, when did God become so cold?
He prays for his father who will never come home.
Can you hear him?
Silent
Lungs filled with dirt from an earth more than shaken
It’s taking every inch of his being not close his eyes for the last time
11 days beyond dehydration, his eyes will bleed if he cries
Sunset to sunrise he watches his family die
His soul may be free but he is physically buried alive
Hoping that tomorrow will be the day rescuers hear his hallow cry
Can you hear him?
He speaks in a whisper slightly louder than his weakening heartbeat
Clutching the lifeless palm of a mother long forgotten before death arrived at her door
He is praying.
Not for self, not for preservation
Insides ravished beyond starvation
He prays for breath
To breathe air eradicated of pain laced death he prays for understanding.
How can a God so forgiving bare no soul?
Kills thousands in seconds, when did God become so cold?
He prays for his father who will never come home.
Can you hear him?
Silent
Lungs filled with dirt from an earth more than shaken
It’s taking every inch of his being not close his eyes for the last time
11 days beyond dehydration, his eyes will bleed if he cries
Sunset to sunrise he watches his family die
His soul may be free but he is physically buried alive
Hoping that tomorrow will be the day rescuers hear his hallow cry
Can you hear him?
...Maybe It's Me...
Maybe it really is me
Look, I'm sorry for this paradox that allotts me the syntax to break your heart
But before you finally walk away can you just stop and allow me to explain the feelings that I endure and the origin of which they came
For example, the other day you said "I want this forever" and while your heart strings looped on romantic energies I simply was lost in the perception of you and I together
Its not that I don't love you, its just that I said I would never
Hold on to someone when I truly question if we can make it through any weather
Can you hold my hand during treacherous storms? Silence thunder with dilapidating words so cold winters won't do no harm?
And can you shape and form my summers so elegantly created by Stevie? Not leave me on poetic justice nights while helicopters search for souls no longer racial pleasing?
Please just give me 3 more mins of your time
I know that my words are beginning to hurt while you think im feeding you a line
But let me share what is really on my mind and how this is truly about me
I can't continue to let you sleep at night in the midst of a strangers company
Making love with no love in our eyes
Every time I walk out that door you don't think I know you cry?
You yourself have said it thousands of times that I am nothing without you
But baby, you are nothing with me
For centuries man was taught to love the essence of a woman beyond her Eptiome
But your jealous ways condone my envy of how someone who seems so strong can be hurt with me
Just a man standing on the passage of time seeking entry
I want to love till I run empty
Bleed so deep I can give life to plenty
Whisper secrets so gently that midnight wind takes a rest
You and I weren't meant to be, this was only a test
I tried to give you all of me, nothing more nothing less
But this feeling in my chest suggest that we we had time will some day forget
Please don't cry, this is not about you
You tried your best
This is about me being a man and trying not to hurt you like the last one who left
No pain, no stress
Tears stream fast, wiping away hurt you can no longer suppress
The feelings I possessed just laid on the surface, sat void on my soul but you never seemed to notice
Lost and out of focus, we continued to rekindle flames even though the embers were just smoke and
Confused emotions never spoken
You packed my shit and screamed "Leave" and that's when I knew you weren't joking
Turned knobs on restless doors end with hearts freshly broken
"Please don't leave" caught in your throat and
Now we are here again, but this time sanity was chosen
I'm sorry, I can't talk this out, I can't keep this going
Our past is a past that is golden, but our future is nothing but a notion
Please don't be angry, please don't continue to keep holding
On to that maybe it is you when honestly, truthfully it is me
I have imperfect flaws that your heart will always see
White lies on my tongue that your soul will never believe
You will continue to cry every time I step towards the door to leave
And you will always be at your worse as long as you are with me
Look, I'm sorry for this paradox that allotts me the syntax to break your heart
But before you finally walk away can you just stop and allow me to explain the feelings that I endure and the origin of which they came
For example, the other day you said "I want this forever" and while your heart strings looped on romantic energies I simply was lost in the perception of you and I together
Its not that I don't love you, its just that I said I would never
Hold on to someone when I truly question if we can make it through any weather
Can you hold my hand during treacherous storms? Silence thunder with dilapidating words so cold winters won't do no harm?
And can you shape and form my summers so elegantly created by Stevie? Not leave me on poetic justice nights while helicopters search for souls no longer racial pleasing?
Please just give me 3 more mins of your time
I know that my words are beginning to hurt while you think im feeding you a line
But let me share what is really on my mind and how this is truly about me
I can't continue to let you sleep at night in the midst of a strangers company
Making love with no love in our eyes
Every time I walk out that door you don't think I know you cry?
You yourself have said it thousands of times that I am nothing without you
But baby, you are nothing with me
For centuries man was taught to love the essence of a woman beyond her Eptiome
But your jealous ways condone my envy of how someone who seems so strong can be hurt with me
Just a man standing on the passage of time seeking entry
I want to love till I run empty
Bleed so deep I can give life to plenty
Whisper secrets so gently that midnight wind takes a rest
You and I weren't meant to be, this was only a test
I tried to give you all of me, nothing more nothing less
But this feeling in my chest suggest that we we had time will some day forget
Please don't cry, this is not about you
You tried your best
This is about me being a man and trying not to hurt you like the last one who left
No pain, no stress
Tears stream fast, wiping away hurt you can no longer suppress
The feelings I possessed just laid on the surface, sat void on my soul but you never seemed to notice
Lost and out of focus, we continued to rekindle flames even though the embers were just smoke and
Confused emotions never spoken
You packed my shit and screamed "Leave" and that's when I knew you weren't joking
Turned knobs on restless doors end with hearts freshly broken
"Please don't leave" caught in your throat and
Now we are here again, but this time sanity was chosen
I'm sorry, I can't talk this out, I can't keep this going
Our past is a past that is golden, but our future is nothing but a notion
Please don't be angry, please don't continue to keep holding
On to that maybe it is you when honestly, truthfully it is me
I have imperfect flaws that your heart will always see
White lies on my tongue that your soul will never believe
You will continue to cry every time I step towards the door to leave
And you will always be at your worse as long as you are with me
...{Freewrite} Kisses To My Memories...
It was never spoken
Our words were shared between haphazard kisses and akward positions while we sexed
Lost hours in kismet that left us spent
It was written on the walls as sweat stained sheets covered the dialogue
What was meant was in the condom wrapper on the floor next to clothes that showed we lost control
It was in the sound of orgasms
The bites on your skin
The scratches on your back
The pulling of my hair as you tried to renact the war between throbbing sensations and emotional acts
The understanding of what we were was said the moment I climaxed
Perpetual visions of stars and galaxies as I arched my back and you filled me
The moment of truth.....that this is all we will ever be
Our words were shared between haphazard kisses and akward positions while we sexed
Lost hours in kismet that left us spent
It was written on the walls as sweat stained sheets covered the dialogue
What was meant was in the condom wrapper on the floor next to clothes that showed we lost control
It was in the sound of orgasms
The bites on your skin
The scratches on your back
The pulling of my hair as you tried to renact the war between throbbing sensations and emotional acts
The understanding of what we were was said the moment I climaxed
Perpetual visions of stars and galaxies as I arched my back and you filled me
The moment of truth.....that this is all we will ever be
...Ur Reason...
And it was passion
Something deep inside me sparked and ignited an old flame long burned out
Overdue cares and concerns weighed heavy on my heart and in my ears as if my heartbeat would suddenly disappear
And I allowed these feelings to overcome my conscious
My want for something tangible and permanent to fixate the void placed within the confinement of my soul laid complacent as if a distant memory
With you, I no longer wept
My somber tears of unredeemed love laid pleasantly in the recess of my past
With you, I was different
No longer a dream upon the horizon of vitalization
I was a long awaited wishing well that quenched your desirable thirst
In the eyes of the patient and praying I was your everlasting want
That force placed in the back of your mind that foreshadowed hurt and pain
The taste of fulfillment that never reached your palate
The sensation of envy conveyed in the eyes of those once your beholder
The beauty in the making of the sunrise filled with whimsical shades of change and perpetual hues of love and dedication
I was your reason
Some how possessed the key to who you ideally wanted to be
I molded your worries
Realigned your courage
And chiseled away your stress
Similar to oxygen, I gave you breath
Inanimately animated your dreams into motion
Defiantly designed a pedestal fit for a King but obtained by his popper
I unknowingly empowered you to have me
I gave you me
Allowed my cloak of determination and strong will to drop and reveal my flaws
My imperfections
I gave you my purity
I gave you my tears
But most importantly
I gave you my trust
Relied on words to nurture my understanding that this would be something different
Permitted you to rewrite my history to some how include you and I
I placed my feelings on a wish
Closed my eyes through tears of confusion and prayed that this would be it
Painted over tainted memories just so I could be whole
Your insight when I was still blind
I became the other half that you were not ready for
Your back bone in the midst of chaos
Because I wanted to be needed
Needed to feel as if my existence was a necessity
And you validated my desire
Ascertained my emotions and created harmony in my shattered understanding of unconditional consistency
Placed my emotions on invisible wave lengths and damaged the esteem of my individuality
Harmonized my feelings with the other women vying for your hand
You shattered all that I had built myself up to be
Broke down the levies
And tore through the guard rails to my heart
You ruptured my mental once plagued with simplistic thoughts of independency
And lavished it with self enthused thoughts of building a dynasty together
You produced this feeling
The picturesque figures of me smiling
My scene replicated into Mona Lisa's, contained with sands of dark brown and reds
Brought to life by the stroke of you hand as if a brush used on canvas
You dictated this experience
The rise and fall of this occasion
Portrayed my feelings on white tinted walls against fragments of a broken heart
You allowed this to happen
When you always knew your intentions
So now I'm sitting here
Removing the memories
The thoughts
The moments
The images
On my wall
Something deep inside me sparked and ignited an old flame long burned out
Overdue cares and concerns weighed heavy on my heart and in my ears as if my heartbeat would suddenly disappear
And I allowed these feelings to overcome my conscious
My want for something tangible and permanent to fixate the void placed within the confinement of my soul laid complacent as if a distant memory
With you, I no longer wept
My somber tears of unredeemed love laid pleasantly in the recess of my past
With you, I was different
No longer a dream upon the horizon of vitalization
I was a long awaited wishing well that quenched your desirable thirst
In the eyes of the patient and praying I was your everlasting want
That force placed in the back of your mind that foreshadowed hurt and pain
The taste of fulfillment that never reached your palate
The sensation of envy conveyed in the eyes of those once your beholder
The beauty in the making of the sunrise filled with whimsical shades of change and perpetual hues of love and dedication
I was your reason
Some how possessed the key to who you ideally wanted to be
I molded your worries
Realigned your courage
And chiseled away your stress
Similar to oxygen, I gave you breath
Inanimately animated your dreams into motion
Defiantly designed a pedestal fit for a King but obtained by his popper
I unknowingly empowered you to have me
I gave you me
Allowed my cloak of determination and strong will to drop and reveal my flaws
My imperfections
I gave you my purity
I gave you my tears
But most importantly
I gave you my trust
Relied on words to nurture my understanding that this would be something different
Permitted you to rewrite my history to some how include you and I
I placed my feelings on a wish
Closed my eyes through tears of confusion and prayed that this would be it
Painted over tainted memories just so I could be whole
Your insight when I was still blind
I became the other half that you were not ready for
Your back bone in the midst of chaos
Because I wanted to be needed
Needed to feel as if my existence was a necessity
And you validated my desire
Ascertained my emotions and created harmony in my shattered understanding of unconditional consistency
Placed my emotions on invisible wave lengths and damaged the esteem of my individuality
Harmonized my feelings with the other women vying for your hand
You shattered all that I had built myself up to be
Broke down the levies
And tore through the guard rails to my heart
You ruptured my mental once plagued with simplistic thoughts of independency
And lavished it with self enthused thoughts of building a dynasty together
You produced this feeling
The picturesque figures of me smiling
My scene replicated into Mona Lisa's, contained with sands of dark brown and reds
Brought to life by the stroke of you hand as if a brush used on canvas
You dictated this experience
The rise and fall of this occasion
Portrayed my feelings on white tinted walls against fragments of a broken heart
You allowed this to happen
When you always knew your intentions
So now I'm sitting here
Removing the memories
The thoughts
The moments
The images
On my wall
...Unspoken Heart...
The greatest line I ever wrote began with "I" and ended with "You"
There weren’t many words in between
No similes or perpetual connotations
I didn’t run on sentences explaining emotions long endue
Or metaphorically compare feelings to a summer’s day
My pen scratched "You" before the slant in my handwriting could even birth "I"
Pushed out the meaning, waited for my words to rip out with a cry
Pulsations in my heart would breathe easy before my courage could die
And I wrote "love" in between the two
Carefully concentrated on each letter that symbolically spelled my deepest secret
That I love you before any poem could express
Specific to any prose that crosses my lips
I bleed you through veins that long for your caress
Starve for your touch
You are my complete
My beginning and end
And even if these words never speak your name it is etched across my soul
Depleted on my chest
Has found solace in my breath
I breathe you without thinking
Need you without wanting
Drink you without thirst
Satiated before your response
Because these feelings were finally heard
There weren’t many words in between
No similes or perpetual connotations
I didn’t run on sentences explaining emotions long endue
Or metaphorically compare feelings to a summer’s day
My pen scratched "You" before the slant in my handwriting could even birth "I"
Pushed out the meaning, waited for my words to rip out with a cry
Pulsations in my heart would breathe easy before my courage could die
And I wrote "love" in between the two
Carefully concentrated on each letter that symbolically spelled my deepest secret
That I love you before any poem could express
Specific to any prose that crosses my lips
I bleed you through veins that long for your caress
Starve for your touch
You are my complete
My beginning and end
And even if these words never speak your name it is etched across my soul
Depleted on my chest
Has found solace in my breath
I breathe you without thinking
Need you without wanting
Drink you without thirst
Satiated before your response
Because these feelings were finally heard
...Mahogany Blues...
I hadn't realized I forgot how to love until I dreamt of you
Closed my eyes and my mind allowed me relive silent memories
So perfect like sunset orange and purple
Kisses relaxed on dehydrated skin the shade of mahogany blues and rhythms
We were melodies without singing
Gentle touches while eyes glaze over
Deep in thought as you rest deep in me
Stroking patiently, begging for me to let this be
Tears magnetically drawn to the inside of your palm because I gave you my insecurities
Willingly drunk off incoherently climaxes because it has never felt like this
Please.....never stop saying my name
How is it that you make me feel so beautiful when all I see is nothing?
Secretly...I whispered thank you to the heavens because without loving me you showed me how it feels
And while forever isn't promised what if now gives me the same chills?
Making love so passionately that time sits still
We say so much even we we aren't talking
Scream so loud when we are far away
Miss uncontrollably while I lay in your arms
Because in my heart I'm praying that today will always stay and tomorrow never comes
Closed my eyes and my mind allowed me relive silent memories
So perfect like sunset orange and purple
Kisses relaxed on dehydrated skin the shade of mahogany blues and rhythms
We were melodies without singing
Gentle touches while eyes glaze over
Deep in thought as you rest deep in me
Stroking patiently, begging for me to let this be
Tears magnetically drawn to the inside of your palm because I gave you my insecurities
Willingly drunk off incoherently climaxes because it has never felt like this
Please.....never stop saying my name
How is it that you make me feel so beautiful when all I see is nothing?
Secretly...I whispered thank you to the heavens because without loving me you showed me how it feels
And while forever isn't promised what if now gives me the same chills?
Making love so passionately that time sits still
We say so much even we we aren't talking
Scream so loud when we are far away
Miss uncontrollably while I lay in your arms
Because in my heart I'm praying that today will always stay and tomorrow never comes
...Clarity...
This is my moment of clarity
Knees shaking
Palms sweating
Eyes shifting between right and wrong
Decisions on the tip of my tongue leave my mouth dry
I'm searching for nourishing words of wisdom
In fountains withheld by memories
Gauge enthusiastic sentiments of courage
Bare hands folding, scratching at complex sanity
Now restricted from free thinking
Free emotions now cost tears
Dialectic heartbeats and tunnel visions
No, my moment of clarity is when my eyes no longer hide
That the pain contained behind this prose no longer feels like home
My stanzas lack depth
Nonchalant feelings and emotionless after thoughts
I'm burning bridges faster than I can build them
My sarcasm is infiltrated as truth
While my truth is stored in baggage that will never be claimed
I'm holding on to luggage that solely bares my name
Cause I
Seek
Feelings
Some other than my own
Notions etched in hieroglyphics
Take me back to ancestry where the simplicity of meanings are depicted as new age artifacts
Wholesome up bringing in traditional settings
Where the fight was not between you and I but I and you against the world
Creating life consented by our choices
Hear pin drops while we wait for our child's voice
His life was not a decision but a destiny
Not a mistake because lustful nights robbed us of thinking
Contemplating the after before the now
Sweat stained skin with champagne promises drunken with malt liquor reality
Burdening climaxes because we knew this time was different
No, our clarity is that we were never meant to be
Star and galaxies were not perceived in ribbons song by Stevie
Forcifying love when we barely like each other
Finding reasons to coexist because now our x and y chromosomes exist
Smiles brought by 3rd party heartbeats
Sadness found in harsh reality
This moment raped of your forever
Battered because we both said never
Screaming cause this is a disaster on another level
How did this happen to me, u, us
We were looking for love with lust
Shame misconstrued with understanding
Pain brought by a world whose too demanding
And we shared....a past
Walked separately then as one
Like moon and sun on solar planes
Similar to night and day but shared the same name
Pretended to need each other on squeaky bed frames
Moaned for forgiveness, prayed for change
Clutched for skin while we realized that nothing will ever be the same
Then the cry came
A moment a clarity with the next breath
Pregnancy test with two lines steals the beat in my chest
This is now destiny, not a decision, not a regret
I'm slowly packing baggage I can't handle
And I can't even finish the rest
Knees shaking
Palms sweating
Eyes shifting between right and wrong
Decisions on the tip of my tongue leave my mouth dry
I'm searching for nourishing words of wisdom
In fountains withheld by memories
Gauge enthusiastic sentiments of courage
Bare hands folding, scratching at complex sanity
Now restricted from free thinking
Free emotions now cost tears
Dialectic heartbeats and tunnel visions
No, my moment of clarity is when my eyes no longer hide
That the pain contained behind this prose no longer feels like home
My stanzas lack depth
Nonchalant feelings and emotionless after thoughts
I'm burning bridges faster than I can build them
My sarcasm is infiltrated as truth
While my truth is stored in baggage that will never be claimed
I'm holding on to luggage that solely bares my name
Cause I
Seek
Feelings
Some other than my own
Notions etched in hieroglyphics
Take me back to ancestry where the simplicity of meanings are depicted as new age artifacts
Wholesome up bringing in traditional settings
Where the fight was not between you and I but I and you against the world
Creating life consented by our choices
Hear pin drops while we wait for our child's voice
His life was not a decision but a destiny
Not a mistake because lustful nights robbed us of thinking
Contemplating the after before the now
Sweat stained skin with champagne promises drunken with malt liquor reality
Burdening climaxes because we knew this time was different
No, our clarity is that we were never meant to be
Star and galaxies were not perceived in ribbons song by Stevie
Forcifying love when we barely like each other
Finding reasons to coexist because now our x and y chromosomes exist
Smiles brought by 3rd party heartbeats
Sadness found in harsh reality
This moment raped of your forever
Battered because we both said never
Screaming cause this is a disaster on another level
How did this happen to me, u, us
We were looking for love with lust
Shame misconstrued with understanding
Pain brought by a world whose too demanding
And we shared....a past
Walked separately then as one
Like moon and sun on solar planes
Similar to night and day but shared the same name
Pretended to need each other on squeaky bed frames
Moaned for forgiveness, prayed for change
Clutched for skin while we realized that nothing will ever be the same
Then the cry came
A moment a clarity with the next breath
Pregnancy test with two lines steals the beat in my chest
This is now destiny, not a decision, not a regret
I'm slowly packing baggage I can't handle
And I can't even finish the rest
...Imagination...
You are my favorite day dream
A vivid representation of my imaginative thoughts
You are my eyes wide open mirage
Can recall the silken texture of your hair
Felt in the impulse of my hand before even meeting you
Traced your smooth skin emphasized by the rise of mountain ranges of life
As sky lines rested on the sway of your lips
Punctuated by the light of your eyes
You are solace to my senses
So adequate to 3rd dimensional visions
You are my life's mission
Soul burning
Head spinning
Parallel to ecstasy
You have me feening for another dose
Almost comatose
Sub dreams so splendid that I can't seem to intervene between reality and day dreams
So I simply enjoy the tempting creations invented by my imagination
A vivid representation of my imaginative thoughts
You are my eyes wide open mirage
Can recall the silken texture of your hair
Felt in the impulse of my hand before even meeting you
Traced your smooth skin emphasized by the rise of mountain ranges of life
As sky lines rested on the sway of your lips
Punctuated by the light of your eyes
You are solace to my senses
So adequate to 3rd dimensional visions
You are my life's mission
Soul burning
Head spinning
Parallel to ecstasy
You have me feening for another dose
Almost comatose
Sub dreams so splendid that I can't seem to intervene between reality and day dreams
So I simply enjoy the tempting creations invented by my imagination
...Ur Song...
Through harsh parallelistic symbolism and categorized sentiments
My thoughts bleed of you
Conceive you in heart plagued mentals and modified processes
Love should be scared of you
Twilight nights spend solidified days on your shoulders
Baring more than any man should
You breathe easy in solitude
Heart aches for understanding, body pleads for gratitude
Begging for significant ramification that once made you whole
You just want to feel different
Feel any other emotion besides alone
Even with time on ur side u still feel lonely
And maybe this perception of you is masked behind sad interludes
But what else would your song be?
Would it be complacent melodies in uneven tones?
Even when you cry late at night your soul still won't come home
Day dreams dance like saxophones, calalu bassist sing with harmonic baritones
Tell me, was she your favorite song?
Your most precious memory?
Was kissing her priceless like gold plated tapestry?
Making love in violin symphonies, first chair while harps mend with strings
Gave her unconditioned emotions promised and bared on sleeves
Tell me, when did she decide to leave?
Is it because love is scared of you?
Or is it the fact you look like her past regardless of what you do?
His shoes would never fit you
Stature bigger than his mold
Steady fast was her future till her past grabbed a hold
So what is ur song?
Is it the sweetest thing I've ever heard?
Blue venacular spun like molasses
Drips slowly as I rest on your words
Tears press to an edge, don't give her a song she doesn't deserve
Beats defined by hearts breath, lyrics lack cause there's no action
behind the verbs
My thoughts bleed of you
Conceive you in heart plagued mentals and modified processes
Love should be scared of you
Twilight nights spend solidified days on your shoulders
Baring more than any man should
You breathe easy in solitude
Heart aches for understanding, body pleads for gratitude
Begging for significant ramification that once made you whole
You just want to feel different
Feel any other emotion besides alone
Even with time on ur side u still feel lonely
And maybe this perception of you is masked behind sad interludes
But what else would your song be?
Would it be complacent melodies in uneven tones?
Even when you cry late at night your soul still won't come home
Day dreams dance like saxophones, calalu bassist sing with harmonic baritones
Tell me, was she your favorite song?
Your most precious memory?
Was kissing her priceless like gold plated tapestry?
Making love in violin symphonies, first chair while harps mend with strings
Gave her unconditioned emotions promised and bared on sleeves
Tell me, when did she decide to leave?
Is it because love is scared of you?
Or is it the fact you look like her past regardless of what you do?
His shoes would never fit you
Stature bigger than his mold
Steady fast was her future till her past grabbed a hold
So what is ur song?
Is it the sweetest thing I've ever heard?
Blue venacular spun like molasses
Drips slowly as I rest on your words
Tears press to an edge, don't give her a song she doesn't deserve
Beats defined by hearts breath, lyrics lack cause there's no action
behind the verbs
...Obsession...
Lived mistakes with no lessons
Searching for answers to lost questions
Borderline obsessions
Time's suggestion is that my answer to love is in your possession
Mingled bed sheets, sweating then second guessing
Naked skin, praising God for this blessing
Eyes closed to new reflections
Mirrored in your perfection
Orgasms rise and fall every 10 seconds
Heartbeats like drums hard in your chest and
Mind blown from my confession
Shouldn't have said so much, should have tested
Shallow waters ran deep with my word's inflection
Now I'm laying here second guessing
Lip to tongue steady pressing
Minutes to hours with no resting
Searching for forever thru passion's aggression
Searching for answers to lost questions
Borderline obsessions
Time's suggestion is that my answer to love is in your possession
Mingled bed sheets, sweating then second guessing
Naked skin, praising God for this blessing
Eyes closed to new reflections
Mirrored in your perfection
Orgasms rise and fall every 10 seconds
Heartbeats like drums hard in your chest and
Mind blown from my confession
Shouldn't have said so much, should have tested
Shallow waters ran deep with my word's inflection
Now I'm laying here second guessing
Lip to tongue steady pressing
Minutes to hours with no resting
Searching for forever thru passion's aggression
...Lies...
My mind says touch me
Body seeks intimate conversation on sheetless frames and moon soaked nights
Inner thoughts throbbing so bad that I mentally orgasm
Legs spasms and heart beats
In so deep that im the beginning to your end
Was never your girl, just something more than a friend
The endearing and willingly ear to lend, the answer to your call before you could even press send
The significantly available even though my own heart can't go through this again
And as I sit here with chills my mind continues to spin
Playing in my own hair helps me remember how you feel
How it felt to cum....
So close yet still be so far from being your permanent memory
Reminisce so long that my future walks away with envy
This was not destiny, we were just a now
The definition supplementing casual friends because commitment went out of style
No sense in asking how or why
We made love in the dark by the light of your eyes
We kissed on broken promises that were simply implied
We walked away because our hearts could no longer lie
Body seeks intimate conversation on sheetless frames and moon soaked nights
Inner thoughts throbbing so bad that I mentally orgasm
Legs spasms and heart beats
In so deep that im the beginning to your end
Was never your girl, just something more than a friend
The endearing and willingly ear to lend, the answer to your call before you could even press send
The significantly available even though my own heart can't go through this again
And as I sit here with chills my mind continues to spin
Playing in my own hair helps me remember how you feel
How it felt to cum....
So close yet still be so far from being your permanent memory
Reminisce so long that my future walks away with envy
This was not destiny, we were just a now
The definition supplementing casual friends because commitment went out of style
No sense in asking how or why
We made love in the dark by the light of your eyes
We kissed on broken promises that were simply implied
We walked away because our hearts could no longer lie
...Searching...
I'm trying to find myself
Find out who I am
What makes me me
So I look towards spirituality, try to find a meaning
I search through dialogue with a God long forgotten
Pray tears so that paths of deception can cease
Hands bare knees, I pray for inner peace
I pray to find myself, figure out what this life means
Meditate on staples of discomfort if it deems that the woman in the mirror will finally make sense to me
And I continue to search for myself
Under sheets with you in between
Understand how monotone orgasms can help me touch the unseen
Perpetual emotions, notions broadcast on amnesiac sleeves
Trace day dreams in your eyes and find out what this casual sex means
But I can't find myself
Find out who I am
What makes me me
So I look towards spirituality, try to find a meaning
I search through dialogue with a God long forgotten
Pray tears so that paths of deception can cease
Hands bare knees, I pray for inner peace
I pray to find myself, figure out what this life means
Meditate on staples of discomfort if it deems that the woman in the mirror will finally make sense to me
And I continue to search for myself
Under sheets with you in between
Understand how monotone orgasms can help me touch the unseen
Perpetual emotions, notions broadcast on amnesiac sleeves
Trace day dreams in your eyes and find out what this casual sex means
But I can't find myself
...You...
I'm kissing you, lip to tongue
Mouth to want, bottom to top
Breathing as one, Lick, bite then stop
Repetition as mind wonders
In dreams and thoughts I am not sharing this with you
This moment is void of you
Inconsistently thinking of him
Day dreams and narcissistic thoughts of him
Fragmented so beautifully, I have built my perception
My egotistically rendition of what my soul mate should look, sound and feel like
I have replaced you before you could start
Scenes and plots filtrated to never fit your mold
You never had a chance before you tried out
So please excuse me as I speak his name I don't even know
Gaze into a sunrise of his eyes I've never seen
Horizons built on the sound of his voice
Don't realize the lost in my eyes
The blindness behind my touch
The seeking
Wanting
Mentally replaying years of searching just to be here with you
Someone so simplistically imperfect for me
Nothing and all that I ever wanted
Is you
Mouth to want, bottom to top
Breathing as one, Lick, bite then stop
Repetition as mind wonders
In dreams and thoughts I am not sharing this with you
This moment is void of you
Inconsistently thinking of him
Day dreams and narcissistic thoughts of him
Fragmented so beautifully, I have built my perception
My egotistically rendition of what my soul mate should look, sound and feel like
I have replaced you before you could start
Scenes and plots filtrated to never fit your mold
You never had a chance before you tried out
So please excuse me as I speak his name I don't even know
Gaze into a sunrise of his eyes I've never seen
Horizons built on the sound of his voice
Don't realize the lost in my eyes
The blindness behind my touch
The seeking
Wanting
Mentally replaying years of searching just to be here with you
Someone so simplistically imperfect for me
Nothing and all that I ever wanted
Is you
...Raindrops...
Kiss me under rain filled nights
Thunder claps, like heart beats
You have me kissing dark clouds away and searching for starless nights
Touching memories of lustful smiles
Remembering nights with you by my side
Pouring feelings into mason jars on vacant window seals
I lay still in this tranquil state, reminiscing of tasteful kisses upon my drunken skin
Tracing outlines of raindrops against the juxtapose of your eyes
Licking salted cries from the tip of your lips
Fingering intimate poses, scratching at orgasms
Climatic captions in weather suitable for those in winter clothes
We lay naked under lightning and thunderstorms
Sharing warmth in each others arms
And become one
Thunder claps, like heart beats
You have me kissing dark clouds away and searching for starless nights
Touching memories of lustful smiles
Remembering nights with you by my side
Pouring feelings into mason jars on vacant window seals
I lay still in this tranquil state, reminiscing of tasteful kisses upon my drunken skin
Tracing outlines of raindrops against the juxtapose of your eyes
Licking salted cries from the tip of your lips
Fingering intimate poses, scratching at orgasms
Climatic captions in weather suitable for those in winter clothes
We lay naked under lightning and thunderstorms
Sharing warmth in each others arms
And become one
...Waiting...
Consistently
Touching tangible fabrics of emotions
Feelings sought after broken heart strings play old love songs
The simplicity of attraction
Kissing moments, sharing memories
Starry eyed gazes, perplexed paraphrases because dialogue flutters with the butterflies in your stomach
Lingering moments lead to
Remembering the sensation of your skin felt between my index and thumb
Inhale you and exhale love
Breathing your existence, can't remember days before you
Trace looseleaf rain drops against foggy windows
Rearrange clouds to comfort day dreams
Licking my lips and still taste you
Touching my skin and I still feel you
Closing my eyes but I still see you
Can count on one hand the seconds between each thought about you
Decorating vacant walls of life with hues of change because once again this heart stands whole
Feelings on sleeves, soul baring closed door emotions
Mouth dry with anticipation of words stale dated
I want to confess all that my feelings suggest that the art of how we meet is simply kismet
But my past is relentless
So I wait
Touching tangible fabrics of emotions
Feelings sought after broken heart strings play old love songs
The simplicity of attraction
Kissing moments, sharing memories
Starry eyed gazes, perplexed paraphrases because dialogue flutters with the butterflies in your stomach
Lingering moments lead to
Remembering the sensation of your skin felt between my index and thumb
Inhale you and exhale love
Breathing your existence, can't remember days before you
Trace looseleaf rain drops against foggy windows
Rearrange clouds to comfort day dreams
Licking my lips and still taste you
Touching my skin and I still feel you
Closing my eyes but I still see you
Can count on one hand the seconds between each thought about you
Decorating vacant walls of life with hues of change because once again this heart stands whole
Feelings on sleeves, soul baring closed door emotions
Mouth dry with anticipation of words stale dated
I want to confess all that my feelings suggest that the art of how we meet is simply kismet
But my past is relentless
So I wait
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